Takes from the Girl Behind the Camera

Everyone has their own outlook. How they look upon life. How they judge people, and how they judge themselves. I've always had this unique outlook. The way I see things- I don't know if I'd be considered an optimist or a pessimist, so I'd like to think I'm neutral. The way I see myself, is different than how others see me. I see myself as this girl, who (hopefully) possesses some sort of potential as an author, who's not ugly, but who won't turn heads, who is shy around people who will judge her, but herself around people who will not, who tries her best to be strong, but it's hard under the circumstances. Others see me as this shy, quiet girl, who gravitates to the walls constantly. They see me as this girl who hangs out with her 2 friends, who isn't popular, who people know, but don't care about. They see I've made a mistake, and they judge me for it, harshly. And sometimes, I want to be myself around them and punch them in the face. But I don't want to be judged.They say the judge can't overturn the jury's decision, but in this world, I guess he can.

And that was all a lie.

If I told you the truth it would be more like this:

Everyone has their own outlook. How they look upon life. How they judge people, and how they judge themselves. I've always had this really weird outlook. The way I see things- I like to think I'm an optimist but really I lie to myself and I'm the worst pessimist you'll ever meet. The way I see myself, it's really bad and in actuality, it's probably worst than how others see me. I see myself as this girl, who (probably never) will possess any sort of potential as an author, who is such a PJ it's amazing anyone likes her (wait, they don't), who will never turn heads except if it's to stare at her because she's such a freak, who is such an annoying weirdo around people because she just wants to fit in, and herself only when she's talking to people she doesn't even know or sometimes when she's having a good day. Who tries her best to be strong, but ultimately fails, and instead opts for a rock-solid facade spiked to the ground, looming sky-high around her. Others see me as this shy, quiet, unbearably annoying girl who just doesn't shut up and who likes to think she sticks to the walls, but she doesn't all the time because she's not Spiderman and she doesn't have any super sticky spider powers to hold her up there. They see me as this girl who hangs out with her 2 friends, two of which are moving away, who isn't popular, but practically infamous for a mistake she pulled in the 6th grade. Who people know, but don't care about in any way at all. They see I've made a mistake and they judge me for it, too harshly. But not any more harsher than I judge myself. And sometimes, I want what to pull what would be another mistake, and punch them in the face, tell them to go stuff it, cause no one wants to here them. But I don't want to be judged. They say the judge can't overturn the jury's decision, but in this world, I guess he can.

Now that you've heard the truth, isn't the lie so much better to believe?