Carry Me

Chapter Six

Hermione came back home a few days later and life couldn't have been better. It was the way it was always supposed to be. The three of us together as a happy family. But I just couldn't get rid of a lingering thought in the back of my mind. The thought of Hermione dying was like a ticking time bomb ready to go off and explode. I still had sleepless nights.

Hermione hadn't rescinded the divorce yet. I was wondering whether we should go through with it after all, but things were so perfect right now that it was impossible not to hold onto that happiness. But Ron told me in a bar once that holding on to happiness for too long is what ultimately leads to sadness. Sometimes life is about letting go.

I thought about my decision over and over. But there wasn't just me to consider. Charlotte was the happiest I had ever seen her after Hermione came out of the hospital. At the dinner table she would help fill in the awkward silence between us and always asked us questions. Questions about the past and the future. She asked about Hogwarts.

"What kind of place was it?" she asked finishing her juice and looking eagerly into my eye hoping for some magical answer.

I closed my eyes for a second. Waves of memories came flooding back. Those years. They washed over me. I still remembered Mrs McGonagall's shrill voice. "Welcome to Hogwarts. School of Wizardry and Witchcraft." It was something I would never forget in everything that has happened since.

I looked over at Hermione and I could tell she was thinking the same as me, she was having the same flashback, the same ebb and flow of emotion pulling at her heartstrings. Good memories stayed in the soul for all eternity, never wavering, never ceasing.

Finally I answered her. "It was a wondrous place of magic. It's where I spent the best years of my life. There were so many interesting people."

"You learned cool tricks?"

"Hundreds." I said.

"I sure would love to go someday." said Charlotte, a little despondent.

Hermione and I looked at each other. Maybe we could all go there together. It would be a good chance to patch up old ties and the change of scene could help bring us closer together. I told Charlotte that we would go and she was over the moon. She clapped her hands and danced and sang. I moved closer to Hermione. We felt proud that we had raised such a lovely little girl.

But there was still something on my mind, something bothering me like an annoying tick that I couldn't shake off. I waited until Hermione was in the bathroom, washing her face to confront her. I wanted an explanation about the pills and the illness. Until now I had kept my anger under wraps but I felt pretty slighted that she had gone behind my back like this and blackmailed me for a divorce.

I walked up behind her and she turned around the instant she caught my reflection in the mirror. She smiled. But soon that smile died down when she saw how grave my expression was.

"Harry, what are you doing?" she asked.

I decided to cut right to the chase. "Hermione, why did you lie to me?"

"I didn't." she said.

That was a lie right there. Was this all a game to her?

"Why didn't you tell me you were sick?"

Hermione fell silent. I think she didn't know the answer. I kept staring her backing her further in the corner.

"Do you know how much you scared me when I found you passed out the other day?" I suddenly raised my voice. "Do you have any idea?"

Hermione backed away and started crying. I heard Charlotte wake up in the room and regretted shouting at Hermione. "I'm sorry, Harry. Please, understand. At the time I was so scared you would just leave me. That you would pack your bags and just go."