Falsities

Chapter Four

Rowan's POV
I knew I was going to lose him one day. I knew we wouldn't, couldn't last forever. But now, with the end so near, I couldn't deal with it. I wanted to separate myself from him as much as possible. I hoped it would ease the pain.
But how? How could I distance myself from someone I saw every day on set? This was going to be way harder than I expected, especially since he tried to fix everything.
I stood up and went to the mirror in my bathroom. There was mascara all over my cheeks, as to be expected. Using a make up wipe, I washed my face off, then reapplied my make up. No one could know I was crying. Everyone needed to think that I was perfectly fine. Everyone.
I took a deep breath and shook out my hands. I had to control my feelings if I wanted this to work, I had to control my tears.
I left my bathroom and went into my 'Rowan closet'. Peeling off my Riley outfit, I changed quickly into something that I would actually wear. I chose black shorts and a cute flowy top, then grabbed my phone off of my side table and left my dressing room. I didn't know where I would be going, but at this point, I didn't care.
Before I knew it, I had stepped out into the heat of Los Angeles. I began walking away from the studio, but someone walks up next to me. "It's Rowan, right?" he asks. I smile at him. I'm pretty sure he's on a new Disney show.
"Yeah," I say. "I'm sorry, I don't remember your name."
"It's Alex," he smiles back. His hair is short and brown and his eyes are also brown.
"Well, hi, Alex."
"Where are you going?" he asks me.
"Um..." I sigh, "I don't really know."
"Well, can I join you?"
"Of course." We start walking down the street in silence. We're going into town, I know that much, but besides that we seem to be aimless.
"So," Alex says, "How is Girl Meets World going for you?"
"It's good," I smile. "I'm sorry, I feel so rude, but what show are you on? It's new, isn't it?"
"Yeah, and it's okay I don't blame you. It's called 'We're Coming Up'. It's about a group of teens who are all not happy with themselves and their own feelings hurt them and then they all become friends and help each other and some other stuff that I'm legally not allowed to tell you," he explains. I give him a small laugh.
"Sounds like a good show," I tell him as we continue to walk.
"I think it is, but we won't know until the premiere."
"When's the premiere?" I ask him.
"October 15th," he replies.
"That's the day after my birthday!" I exclaim.
"That's cool," he says. "How old are you turning?"
"Fifteen," I say proudly. "How old are you?"
"I just turned fifteen a few weeks ago," he smiles at me.
"Well then, happy belated birthday."
"Thank you," he says as we finally get into town.
"This is going to sound so cliche, but I really want Starbucks so..." I trail off.
"It's fine," he laughs. We walk to the closest Starbucks and order. When we finally get our drinks, we walk outside and sit at one of the tables. People walk by us and take pictures, whisper and giggle. A few girls stop and ask to take a picture with me and I do.
Alex and I finish our drinks and get up, just as I get a text.
Peyton: I went to your room and you're not there. are you okay?
I don't answer. I don't want to answer. I know I should. I shouldn't scare him like this. I shouldn't make him think something is wrong, but I can't bring myself to text back. Not when I feel like this. So I put my phone on 'Do Not Disturb'.
"Rowan?" I look up from my phone.
"Yeah?" I ask Alex.
"Do you want to go somewhere?" he looks dead in my eyes and I look away.
"Uh yeah," I say and stand up. We begin walking again and I check the time. It's 7:24pm. We've been out here for almost two and a half hours. I turn to him as we cross the street. "Alex?" He looks back at me. "We've been out here a while."
"Oh," he says. "Do you want to go back?"
"No..." I say, turning us to walk towards the beach. "Not yet."
We walk to the beach in almost silence. I lead the way and when we finally get there, we keep walking by the shore. "The sun is going to set soon," Alex tells me.
"Yeah," I say.
"So shouldn't we start walking back? It's going to take around an hour to walk back."
He's right, I know he's right, but I don't want to leave yet. The waves calm me down and I really need to feel free and think about this. I needed to think about how I could end Peyton and I. I looked to Alex and for a split second I thought a ridiculous thought, but I couldn't do that. I needed to end this without hurting the only boy I've ever loved.
"No," I finally respond. "We don't need to leave just yet." So we walk down the beach for a while. We watch the sun set in silence and keep walking as it gets dark. We keep walking in silence until Alex taps my shoulder.
"Rowan, it's completely dark outside," he says, "and as much as a fifteen year old guy should be thrilled to be on the beach alone in the dark with a girl," oh "I have to film in the morning, and we should get going. What time is it?" I check my phone.
"10:15, oh shit," I tell him, then see all the texts I've gotten since the one from Peyton a few hours ago. There are a few from Sabrina asking where I am, and about ten from Peyton a few minutes ago asking me if I was okay and if I had gone home and where I was.
I unlock my phone and call Peyton. "Hey," I say when he answers.
"Row?" he asks. "Jesus Christ, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Where are you?"
I sigh, "I'm at the beach at stop 39 and-"
He starts to freak out on me, "Stop 39? What the hell? You walked there? That's a 35 minute drive, Rowan!"
"Peyton," I say.
"And it's dark! Oh my-"
"Pey!" He stops talking. "Can you come get me?"
"Yes, of course. I'll be there as soon as possible," he says. I can hear Sabrina in the background saying something before Peyton hangs up.
I turn to Alex as I slide my phone in my pocket. "Peyton is coming to get us," I tell him.
"Peyton...?" he questions.
"You've seen my show, right?" I ask.
"Yeah, of course," he smiles.
"He plays Lucas."
"Oh! Him," he says. "He can drive?"
"Yeah," I laugh. "He seventeen."
"Really?"
"Yep," I say. "Turning eighteen in November, actually."
"He's going to be eighteen and playing a 15-year-old?"
"Well, actually, a sixteen year old because Lucas was a year older than everyone," I correct him.
"Wow," he says, "I really need to catch up on my Girl Meets World." I laugh. "Since I'm meeting Peyton, I think maybe one day I should meet the rest of the cast?"
"Yeah," I say. "If they like you as much as I do I think we'll all be great friends. We can even meet your cast, too." He smiles.
"That would be great."
"How many people are actually in your cast?" I ask him.
"Well, including me there are 6 'kids', I guess, on set. I mean, we all play 13-year-olds, but I guess we still have to say kids. Anyway, there are two other guys and three girls," he explains.
"Are you guys really close and stuff?" I ask.
"Yeah," he smiles, "we have a lot of fun together." We talk about both of our casts for a while, until Alex grabs my hand. I stop talking.
"What are you...?" I trail off as he smiles at me, taking my other hand. "Alex," I say, "I-I can't." I pull my hands away from him.
"Oh," he says. "You have a boyfriend?"
Yes, yes I do. "N-no," I stutter, "I just don't want one right now." Lies.
"Oh," he sighs, "yeah, I understand." I hate lying like this I hate it.
"Rowan!" a voice yells from up the beach. I see him jogging down and I wave. He comes up to me and gives me a hug, kissing the top of my head. "Jesus, don't do that. You had me worried sick." He kisses my forehead before pulling away and turning to Alex. "Who're you?" he asks, kind of harshly.
"That's Alex," I tell Peyton. "I walked down here with him. He has to go back to the studio, too, so..."
"What if I had brought the car with only two seats?" he asks.
"You only take that when it's just you and me and you have time to pull it out of the back," I say. "Besides," I peek over his shoulder, "I can see Sabrina leaning on the car." He smiles and begins walking back up to the car.
"So," Alex says to me when Peyton is a few feet in front of us, "No boyfriend, huh?" He scoffs and walks ahead of me to the car.
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Poor Row just can't get a break.