All Alone

Part 2

You had exhausted yourself crying waking around lunch you checked your phone. Nothing.

You tried to remember how this had happened, you concluded it must have been the upset tummy you had when Al had first came back. Tears started to steam again when you remembered how gentle he was with you, making you soup and then holding your hair back when you ran to the bathroom ten minutes later to throw it up, not once did either of you think about how this effected the pill, three days later sex resumed. How fucking stupid, two grown adults neither of you thought to use extra protection for them first few times until your pill had kicked in again.

Your phone lit up startling you "you keeping it? "

Shit, the thought of being a mum scared you, the thought of being a single mum made the tears flow steadily, yes you could support yourself you was a school teacher, oh god school, the kids what would they say ? The thought of terminating made you sick to your stomach, no way, you'd do this alone if you had to. A small quiet prayer fell out your mouth asking for that not to be the case.

What did you want from him, a relationship , no neither of you felt that strongly about each other, yes you cared a lot for him, maybe you more than him but you'd never had those talks so it was hard to say. Support and understanding was what you needed right now and that Yorkshire prick was sulking. A burst of anger ran through you.

"Yes I am. Can't believe you are asking me this over a text. Grow up Al I need your support!! "

You hit send and waited.

You paced the house, cleaning top to bottom, you paced some more all the while hatching a plan, imagining yourself going through the pregnancy stages, mentally working out finances not allowing yourself to think of Al, it just brought tears to your eyes. Your parents and sister would help but they were up north you were in London and only a select few new about Al and your casual relationship.

Nausea and hunger made you look at the time, 7pm, you threw caution to the wind and rang his phone, no answer, you rang again no answer, so you plucked up the courage and rang Steve his tour manager you had his number for when he needed to contact Al when he was with you.

He answered "y/n he'll be with you soon, he's not happy"  his voice low and disapproving

"Fuck Steve, it's a mistake, I'm struggling here its eating me alive " your voice straining to hold back tears.

"Just try and stay calm y/n, you do understand I have to support Al's decision whether I approve or not"

"Yeah I get it Steve"

He wished me luck and said his flight landed at 8:30pm and to expect him any moment.

At 9:30pm a familiar figure walked up your path, dressed in jeans, a gorgeous pea coat and a navy beanie covering and protecting his head from the cold and prying eyes, a figure that not but a week ago would have you pressed up against the front door and fucked you senseless but today Al let himself in with his own key and stood in your lounge, brown eyes glaring at you.

"Well love, let's get this over with"

"Drop the attitude dick head" how dare he, how fucking dare he.

Alex took his coat and beanie of, his hair was ungelled and messy, he sat down next to you on the couch. Surprisingly he took hold of both your hands in one of his and pleaded with you

" y/n this would ruin me, the band, everything I have worked hard for, the press would have a field day, it would ruin everything" his thumb wiped away your tears. " you have nothing to lose. Please think about a termination and we can get back to normal, I was thinking about introducing you the guys"

You couldn't take your eyes off him, you dragged in deep breathes to try and calm yourself, who was this man, he was totally foreign to you.

"Love, come on love you know I'm right"

You saw red and jumped from the couch startling him

"Are you for real Al, all your thinking about is yourself and your image, well boohoo for you my heart bleeds. What about me, and my career and my life. This is baby is growing in my body, not once have you asked how I am. Two years I have been at your beck and call like a fucking mug, does that count for nothing? Or does that not matter cause you still have a fuck buddy in LA, and have you told her or shall I?"

"Enough" he jumped up and was stood right in front of you, you feared you'd crossed the line. He spoke through gritted teeth

"I don't want this baby, I agree we've fucked up, I will financially support IT" he nodded at your stomach "but that's it"  he made a cutting motion with his hand.

Tears ran freely down your face "I can't bring myself to get rid of it Al, it's a life" He rolled his brown eyes at you "I thought I knew you, I thought I knew the real you. Where is the Al that left four days ago the man that fucked me on that couch minutes before he left, the man that made me laugh, the man that rubbed my belly when I had cramps. I need you, this baby needs you Al"  you stepped closer your body pressed up against his "your better than this"

He wiped your tears, and held your stare. Minutes passed, you silently pleaded with your eyes. He wrapped his arms around you and held you close, you drank in his scent. He kissed the top of your head and rubbed your back

"Y/n you can do this, your strong I'm just not ready. I'm sorry"  you lifted your head and looked at him in disbelief. "Keep in touch y/n"

"Your leaving?"  You asked as he started to pull his coat on "so that's it, that's fucking it"

"I have a gig tomorrow, like I said I have a public image to uphold. You have Steve's number don't you?" You nodded

"Just leave Al, I can't stand to look at you"  your voice full of disappointment, turning your back on him.

The door shut with a click, you spun round not quite believing he'd actually left, he had left the fucking taxi running he'd no intention of staying.

You sank to the floor in despair. You truly was all alone now.