Tastes Like Home | Various!Blue Lock

Twenty-Two

(Y/n) didn't realize how suffocating the atmosphere inside the car had become until she stepped out of it.

The moment her boots touched the snow-packed ground, she inhaled sharply-icy, biting winter air filling her lungs with a relief so intense it almost hurt. The cold spread through her chest, through her limbs, through every tense corner of her body, and for a moment she simply stood there, breathing as if she had just surfaced from deep underwater.

But the relief didn't last.

Because the moment she allowed her thoughts to settle, they circled right back to the question he had asked.

Dreams. Aspirations. An identity separate from whatever her parents had told her to be.

Usually, when uncomfortable thoughts crept in, she had a simple solution—she redirected them—thought about someone else, wondered if Yoichi was warm enough, if Meguru's neck was okay after falling asleep in such a horrific position, if Seishiro was getting bored, if everyone else was comfortable. 

But now that she had started thinking about herself, it was as though a door had been opened that refused to shut again.

Her chest tightened.

What DID she want?

The question echoed in the hollow space of her mind, growing louder the more she tried to ignore it.

She pressed her gloved hands together, staring at the white clouds of breath leaving her mouth. Her thoughts spun in circles, frantic and disorganized. It felt wrong—unnatural—to focus on herself this way. Like staring into a mirror for too long and suddenly not recognizing the person looking back.

She tried to push it away, tried to return to the familiar habit of thinking about others first.

But the thought clung stubbornly to her, because for the first time in a very long time, she had been asked something that had nothing to do with anyone else.

'Am I boring? Do I have no personality?' She bit her lip in frustration.

Meguru—who had just woken up—was the first to unknowingly try to snap her out of her daze.

He'd tapped her shoulder and asked, "Hey, do you still have those cute tissues we got at the store earlier? I have to take a dump, but the restrooms don't have any." He huffed.

It nearly snapped her out of it, but she'd simply absentmindedly handed him the tissues and then went back to staring off into space and wallowing in her own misery.

'Have I really done myself a disservice by not thinking of what I want to be?'

Reo came next, and it only made sense since he didn't exactly take his eyes off of her completely after that deep conversation they just had.

Truth be told, he felt slightly guilty for troubling her even more by introducing such thoughts. He just never thought she would spiral this hard. On the outside, she simply looked like she was in a daze, absentmindedly walking around.

"I'm so sorry." He frowned. "Are you okay, (Y/n)? I didn't think my question would make you think this hard—" But (Y/n) simply waved him off. 

He attempted to pry even more, but he eventually figured he'd already done enough damage.

'I'm so pathetic. I really am. Maybe this is why I will remain trapped on this stupid mountain for the rest of my life...'

Once they'd all—minus Meguru, who was busy taking a dump—made their way into the pit stop's convenience store, Hyoma immediately started handing her a myriad of skincare items.