My randomness

Stupid day

Warning: Very sad story

So today I was going to go to the fair with my sister and friend from Utah. So we get there at 1:30 because the rides always start at 1. So we're there standing in front of the ticket booth waiting for someone to give us our tickets. When we just like ok we'll wait. So we go into the barn and there are screaming pigs and my sister and friend are just like oh they're so cute! But I HATE high pitch sounds so I was stuck in that barn until they left which wS five minutes but felt like hours. Then it starts to rain and I'm say oh I guess the ride will be delayed. Someone over heard me and they said that the rides don't start until 5.

So I'm just like ok, we can still do that. So we go out to get pizza while we wait but my sister say ok come on we have to get home soon. I ask her why and guess what she says. That my grandparents are coming over for dinner! No one told me! No one ever tells me anything. But I still keep my cool. So we go home and we eat dinner and my friends sister comes to pick her up. So the plan was to have her drop us off at the fair. But nope!

Turns out they had a family dinner too, and them she has to go back to Utah. And again I'm like ok we can still work with this. So we go back inside and I tell my mom that she can't come so my sister and I can just go and bond. But guess again! She says no because she wants to spend time together before she leave for a week to visit family without us. But I guess her definition of spending time is her sitting at the computer on Facebook, dad on the couch watching counting cars and my sister reading in the library.

That when I lost it, but when I get angry I have to scream and punch thing and destroy thing. But oh no that not allowed. So I just broke down and cry. Because apparently that's the only thing I'm allowed to do. Cry and cry and cry. My dad didn't care my mom didn't comfort me not even my sister.

I only person I have is my wonderful boyfriend that I was text but he is two hours away. Gosh I can't wait for our date on Friday. It will take my mind off of all of this and right now I'm shaking with frustration and anger and I'm just crying because I can't do anything.

Don't they understand that I just lost my job, I thought my mother was dying, my sister had cancer, my dad wasn't going to come home, and no one realized that all I wanted was to be a kid just one more time. I'm only 15! I can't do this!the only thing I want is for someone to notice and tell me everything will be alright even if it's not.

My dad is always working and so is my sister. My mom is always outside and I feel like an orphan. It got so bad one day that I had to find my teddy bear that I haven't used in years. It feels like he's the only one that won't leave me. And no I only have one friend and she is always busy and My boyfriend doesn't come back for at least two weeks. I just want to wake up from this nightmare, I just want my family back.