Until The End

Broken Mask

I let no one see the real me. Not even you.
Smiling and curious eyes, you stare at me and make me smile.
I can't stand to be with you any longer .
I'm sorry, but I need to have time for myself for a while.
The times we spent together were pure and precious.
The feelings that I once had for you melted like ice in a fire.
For a while, I've been wanting to tell you the truth.
I'm sorry. Please forgive me.
It's ok. I understand.
Whatever you choose, I want you to be happy with it.
It doesn't matter if I have to be involved in your life to make you happy.
I'm a liar. I love her. I don't want her to leave my side.
Why did I say such stupid things to her?
I wanted to say I love her, but I can't.
My mind tells me one thing.
My mouth only speaks the lies she wants to her.
Lies that are full of nothing.
Only words that can make her happy.
That was it.
I can't speak freely as I want.
The sadness and the words that are stuck in my mind stays.
I will never get to tell her the truth behind this all.
Only does she see my mask.
A mask that hides my hidden self.
A mask that hides my despair.
A mask that hides my infinite feelings for her.
I close this door.
The door I once loved to open.
The door that hid my lover behind.
Prickles of a thousand of needles pierce through my saddened heart.
I feel like I'm suspended between the lines of death and the living now.
I don't know which way to go.
What a liar I am.
I will never get to see her.
Awful I am. I truly am...
No, I love her with all of me.
Not just my feelings, but with my soul.
A beautiful liar is what I am.
Hidden in the shadows, I lurk around,
trying to find a gap to escape through.
No matter how hard I try, the truthful self doesn't show.
Only a mask remains.
For thousands of years to come,
For years and years,
I am trapped between the truth and lies.
I feel like I'm on a thin string of thread.
If I fall, I can't come back up to survive.
I will move on now.
Not only does the future awaits me now,
But a new chance and life to live.
Maybe with a new lover.
There could be someone else waiting for me somewhere out there.
What beautiful liar I am. A beautiful mask that hides an ugly monster under.
This monster has no one to protect anymore.
I wish I do.
I wish I stopped her before she walked out of my life.
I'm really burdened with this regret.
Feeling the thread of fate about to snap, I hear a sudden crack.
I am finally free!
No more failure attempts.
No more regrets.
No more burdens.
I am finally out.
I will finally find you and tell you the truth.
With the short amount of time I have, I will make it count.
I will find you.
NO ! I WILL NOT LET YOU RUIN HER PRECIOUS SMILE! NO!
No. Please.... No. Stop.......
Then I collapse on the bed.
I have finally sealed the mask once and for all.
All my thoughts now belong to me.
I finally control all of them.
No more escapes are allowed.
Please live a happy life without me.
I will always hope for your happiness.
I hope you will forget about me.
I may have broken your heart into thousands of pieces,
But please understand I want to do what is needed to be done.
I loved you.
I love you.
I smiled for you.
I smiled only for you.
U made me feel warm.
I only wanted you to stay warm besides me.
I want to incase you in my eternal erection of love.
Sadly I can't do so.
I can't tell you what I want to tell you.
Let me out and I will tell you.
I wanted us to be happy.
I will make us happy.
I can't force this on you.
It isn't right.
Of course it's right.
If I love her, I will show her.
I'm sorry it has to end this way...
Goodbye.
No! This is not the end! It can't be! no NO NOOOO!
What I am is a beautiful liar.
I can't change that.
It's already too late.
Goodbye and goodbye forever my love.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  Hey! I'm back! So, I tried doing a 3 point of view one. How do you guys like it? I feel like I should extend my poems so they're longer. Should I? Please tell me and thanks for reading!