Out of Bounds [h.s. au]

Chapter 16

Despite getting up early, Harry and I were late arriving to History class. I'd made the mistake of mentioning a chai latte I was craving, so Harry insisted on stopping at Starbucks on the way. Unfortunately the line was very long and very slow.

Professor Jacobson eyed us over the top of his spectacles when we walked in, sheepishly taking our seats. He continued his lecture without a word to us as we opened our laptops. After class Harry and I separated, but instead of making my usual trip to the snack bar since I'd just finished my chai latte, I made why way toward the library again.

"Hey, Tisa," I heard from a familiar voice. I turned to see Zack waving at me.

"Hi, Zack," I greeted warmly, giving him a quick hug.

"Everything alright?" he asked. I knew he was referring to the last time we'd seen each other.

"Great," I nodded.

"I'm glad," smiled Zack. "Listen, I know it's none of my business, but for what it's worth, I think you and Harry belong together. I've never seen him as happy as he is when he's with you or talking about you. I really hope things work out for you two."

"Thank you, Zack," I said, my hand over my heart. "That really means a lot to me."

"You're welcome. And hey, we need to get together sometime. Penny adores you, she told me."

I grinned. "I adore her too."

"We'll go see her band or just hang out or something, it'll be fun."

"Okay, yeah, sounds great!" I exclaimed.

"Alright then, talk to you later, Tisa."

I waved goodbye and walked up the steps to the library, feeling happy and excited. The feeling was short-lived however, when I unpacked my belongings and realized I had a voicemail from James.

"Hi, baby, it's me," he said. "I'm headed back a little earlier than I'd anticipated. I'm trying to get a flight back tonight, but everything seems booked up. But if I can get something, I'll be home tonight, otherwise first thing in the morning. I'll call you later and let you know."

Damn. Harry didn't have to work tonight, and I had been looking forward to spending the evening with him. I guess all I could do now was wait for James's next call to know for sure.

I opened my computer, but instead of working on the Sociology report like I'd originally planned, I began typing a letter to James. I had no idea if I would ever give it to him. In a way, it was a letter to myself. I expressed all of my feelings, wants, desires. I never once mentioned Harry, or even implied I was having an affair. Because although ultimately I wanted to be with Harry, it wasn't really about him.

I typed and typed, spilling my guts until tears were streaming down my face. I told him how I cared about him, but was no longer in love with him, if I ever was in love. I told him how I didn't like being treated like a child, and how I felt like one sometimes in our home. I told him how it bothered me that we slept in separate rooms and never had sex. I told him I wanted out, and that I planned to leave.

Looking at the clock in the corner of the screen, I realized I had ten minutes to get to English. I quickly closed my laptop and shoved it in my backpack. I jogged to the English building, arriving just in time. Wiping my eyes, I walked in and took my seat. I tried hard to pay attention to Professor Lloyd, but my mind inevitably wandered. I wanted to talk to Harry. And I knew I needed to talk to James. The hour ticked by slowly, but I also still had another hour to wait for Harry.

This time I did walk to the snack bar to grab a bottle of water. Then I sat in the corner pretending to read. I kept checking my phone for any new messages from James, but there came none. Instead, I decided to text Justine. I knew she'd be at work, but she had texted me on Monday and I'd never gotten back to her. I tried to sound chipper.