(1 MONTH LATER)
I haven't spoken to him in a month.My last year of high school starts in about 2 weeks.I'm not finishing this year for myself it's for her. I miss her still a little,well I'll always miss her but the pain has eased. He's been one of the last people on my mind. He's still been trying to call he's even stopped by a few times I just tell my parents to tell him I'm sleeping and he leaves.I feel bad about ignoring him but I've needed time to think. I still haven't told him why I left that night. I bet it's driving him mad but I couldn't just go crawling to him for comfort. I need my family they're the people who are going to stick by me forever. I'm not letting a guy interfere. I was rustled out of my thoughts with a knock at the door it could be my cousin. I get out of bed in sweats, a tank top, socks,and a messy bun. I sluggishly make my way to the door. I slowly open the door and standing there with a blank expression is Niall. Before I can shut the door he has his arms wrapped around me. His aroma fills my nostrils and his warmth squeezes me. He picks me up and kisses my cheek. "i've missed you. What happened? What's wrong? Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry." He exclaimed his voice filled with curiosity and unconditional forgiveness. " slow down come in we can go in my room and talk. Why are you here by the way." I stated a little to harshly not meaning to as we walked into my room. I shut the door and he sat on my bed patiently as I sat next to him. " I'm here because I've missed you and I don't know what's going on?"
I sighed ready to let all the weight off my shoulders. " Well that night my G-grandma passed" I could barely say trying to breath. Saying it was harder than I expected."Baby girl I'm sorry." He said nothing but sympathy in his tone.As he pulled me into a hug and rubbed circles on my back. " You should of told me I would have taken care of you. Baby I'm really sorry. I tried coming over lots of times. But you were always asleep I thought you didn't want to be around me anymore or you didn't like me anymore."
" Please don't take it personally I blocked everyone out except for my family. I still like you and all I just needed a while to think. I missed you too."
He just smiled at me and connected our lips. I missed his touch. I began feeling guilty again. But I came to a conclusion my grandma wouldn't want me to be sulking around the house forever. She would want me to be happy and continue my life. I just didn't stop and think about it that way when I was caught up in her funeral and seeing all my relatives. I was thinking in the moment and not the bigger picture. He looked at me and smiled more. " Can we go to your house I need to get out of here."
" yea"
" I'm just gonna take a shower."
"ok love I'll wait here or do you want me to wait in the car"
"you can just stay there"
I grabbed a pair of tights and long red shirt a bra and panties and a towel and went to the bathroom and undressed and got in the shower quickly. I washed my hair. Then my body. Got out dried myself quickly and put my clothes on fast. I grabbed a pair of socks and vans from my closet. Niall still sitting on the bed smiling at me patiently. I couldn't help but giggle. " Why are you looking at me like that "
" I just missed you so much"
I just smiled back at him I sat beside him and quickly put my shoes on. I grabbed a hair tie and put my hair In a side braid and grabbed my phone. Then me and Niall finally left. We got in the car and he drove off placing his hand on mine. " I'm hungry" I blurted out. Come to think of it I haven't properly eaten in a month.
He chuckled "ok baby girl what do you want?"
"um ...I don't know pizza?"
"well if that's what you want"
"or Chinese or chicken"
He smiled at me
" um I think Chinese is my final decision yea um the place just downtown"
He agreed we arrived quickly and ordered I got noodles rice and orange chicken. I didn't really pay attention to what Niall got probably something similar. We ate and he kept telling me how much he missed me. I felt sorta guilty because I did sort of miss him in a special way but he's not all I thought about when I was grieving in fact I never really thought of him. And in this moment I realized how much people relied on each other for happiness.
Did I want to spend my life like that?
What is this life if we aren't happy so in this I came a conclusion I'd rather spend my life happy relying of others than being miserable on my own.We finished our meal and headed to Nialls house. We got there and just cuddled for a while. "We should do something tomorrow to get you being yourself again yeah?"
He asked holding me close
" Ok what do you have in mind"
"how about we head down to that big festival you can invite some friends if you'd like,I have friends who could join us as well if you want."
" I'll see if Harry and Jen want to come along"
"oh and you can bring your friends too"
I looked up at him and I don't really know what I was feeling it's kind of bittersweet but I wasn't hating this feeling. It was sort of a content feeling like everything is as it should be.
