Life, Love, & Other Things I Suck At

One

AT THE MALL

I could seriously kill for some Starbucks right now. It's only 9:30 but already I feel like screaming. We have a crazy sale today at and there's been about fifty customers since we opened up thirty minutes ago. I should feel a little bit more optimistic about this since it means that business is good, but honestly all I can think about is the fact that my son kept me up all last night and I have the circles under my eyes to prove it.

The day is still young. I'm on cashier duty for half of my shift, then I switch over to stocking. I never thought working in a clothing store would be this exhausting, I always thought it was cool and glamorous when I was younger. At least it puts food on the table. After I had Ty, it's all I really care about. The other upside to it is that I get employee discounts on clothes.

I try not to sigh as I ring up another customer. She's buying one of the shirts you see on the mannequins right as you walk in the store. It's cute, but I can tell right away that it won't be flattering on her. The bright green clashes with her cherry red hair. She'll probably look like a walking Christmas tree. Did she even try it on?

"That will be 24 dollars and seventy five cents," I say, attempting to smile. It comes out more like a grimace.

"You okay?" the girl asks as she hands me her card."You look tired."

Thanks a lot, that's basically telling me I look like shit. I grit my teeth, fighting the sudden urge to rip all that cheaply dyed hair from her head. I'd surely get fired doing that, even if the manager is my best friend. "I'm okay," I say as I swipe her card. I try to keep my voice light. "My son kept me up all night, that's all."

The girl tilts her head and gives me a weird look. I mentally slap myself on my forehead. That slipped out. At eighteen, I in no shape or form have any right to be a mother. You can thank my sleazy ex boyfriend for that. He left me right after he heard the news. My parents kicked me out of the house as soon as I told them, and when I finally had the kid, they didn't even congratulate me. I spend my days changing stinky diapers and avoiding going out into the social sun, afraid I'd see my ex. Add those little scenarios with the fact that I'm living in a terrible, cramped apartment that smells like sushi and cringing at the disapproving stares I get from my neighbors, and you've got my whole life summed up in a nutshell.

The girl's look changes from confusion, to understanding, to weirded out, and sympathy all in a matter of seconds. Then she pats my arm and smiles, flashing a row of green braces. Wow, so I wasn't too far off with the Christmas tree thing. She just needs that shirt to match and she'll be all set. Problem is, it's April.

"It gets better," she says seriously. I bite back a laugh. Right, like she has personal experience? "I'll pray for you," she says softly, and I roll my eyes and hand her a bag.

"Here's your shirt, stuff your fake understanding and religious conversion crap in it too because I really don't need it," I say, shoving the bag into her face. She gives me a look of shock and disbelief, then stumbles off, looking a little numb. I rub my temples and take a deep breath, trying to regain my composure. The line behind me murmurs and laughs at the conversation just exchanged, only reminding me that I still have a whole line of people to ring up and attempt to not snap at them like I did the last girl. I really need to get my act together.

A tap on my shoulder startles me. I turn around to see Brand, one of my coworkers. He's got an understanding smile on his face; a real one, which is really refreshing. I nearly smile back.

"You seem really stressed, Leighton," he says, running a few fingers through his sandy-coloured hair.

I snort. "That's an understatement."