If I were in China, I would speak Chinese, because ducks in China speak Chinese. And I am a duck. Never make fun of a duck. As it is punishable by my fist to your face. If you ever see a duck, go up and salute him and say "Thank you for your service to the community". He will salute back. But if it is a lady duck, she will come up and bite your nose. Don't get mad at a duck for eating your soup. Because soup is tasty. And ducks can't resist the temptation of soup. DON'T FORGET TO FLOSS!!!! IF YOU DON'T, SANTA WILL COME AND EAT YOUR POTATOES!!!! HE'LL EAT THEM RIGHT OUT OF YOUR FRIDGE!!!! THEN YOU WON'T HAVE ANY POTATOES!!!! And no potatoes means no rubber toes. And we all need rubber toes for when the mystical llama comes and mistakes your toes for a carrot. Everybody poops. Except for you. You're not allowed. Thank you ladies and germs. See you on the poop deck. :P
