The sun still had hours before it reached its peak, or even before it was bright enough so that none could escape its light and wakefulness, when its rays brushed Merlin's back as he stood on the shore of Lake Avalon. Again. A wooden boat—a bit roughly made, but secure and fitting nonetheless—cast out shallow ripples on the mirror surface as it moved away from him. Again. His eyes flashed gold, though the rest of him refused to move, and flames jumped and danced inside the boat's curve. Again.
Merlin's sadness was a bit on the side of inexplicable. Yes, no decent person was happy over the death of a young child they'd known for not even a full day. But they didn't feel so cripplingly empty, their souls didn't collapse into a gray, tattered puddle and weep. They didn't feel desolate after, like every breath was now a chore—and the only reason they turned away and went back to the motions of living was because they had vowed to do so.
It was so uncannily familiar, Merlin wanted to set fire to more than the sweet, small wooden boat. He wanted savage flames to drown out his own sorrow, to swallow hundreds of miles of land and eventually him too. Merlin's soul had suffered under this loss, just as it had buckled under that of Arthur.
Sadness consumed him, and though he appeared a young man, Merlin for the first time truly felt the years he had lived and the years he had yet to live. All at once. He'd lost his central purpose; his very destiny. His best friend. He'd—twice—lost his chance at redemption for the suffering he had caused; another person he'd really loved, now that he admitted it, and who he now believed had been a larger part of his life than he'd first thought. Perhaps Susetthe was some part of his destiny too, since she had appeared twice. But he was sure he'd lost that now, too.
The world didn't seem to be faring much better. Those knights had attacked an innocent traveling family, including children, with poisoned weapons. Such violence, and such ignorance on the part of the royal family...Albion was sinking.
And the lake's surface was still again.
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Those Who Waited (BBC Merlin)
FanfictionMerlin waits for Arthur. But he doesn't wait alone, not always. This is the story of Merlin's long wait, and ones who were there during it, and the ones who are there to greet him when the wait is finally over. *OMG that is a bad summary...I just...
