Afraid to Love

Chapter 5

Jenna's POV

"It's 9:00 already and we've got nothing done!" I say in a panic, I can't get back tracked on school work, I simply don't have time for late assignments anymore, this is senior year.

Harry catches me off guard when he grabs both of my arms.

"It's fine this project isn't due for like a week and a half, it's only the first day, we have plenty of time to work on the project" he says in a calming tone and I instantly feel better.

It was so nice talking with Harry today, there was some serenity when talking to him. As the conversation grew I became more and more comfortable with the curly haired boy I had met on the bus.

I stared into his eyes admiring his soft tone and plump lips and it seemed as though he was doing to the same.

His lips crashed into mine and as cliché as it sounds, the world around me disappeared. It was as though the world was just empty space and it was just him and I together.

The soft touch from his hand pressed against my cheek and the aggressiveness in his kiss had me in a trance as he laid me down on his bed.

No. Not again. I thought as I pushed Harry back and stood up off the bed.

The past was repeating itself and I was to mesmerized by the boy in front of me to realize it.

"I- I'm sorry I just can't" I say scanning the room for my purse.

Where the hell did I put it.

"No I'm sorry I shouldn't have thrown myself at you the way I just did, I just thought you were into me and.. I don't know we were having such a good time and-"

"This can't happen again" I say.

"But why" Harry says and I snap.

"It just can't ok!" I say before spotting my purse and running out the door.

...

I do feel bad for leaving Harry the way I did, I thought to myself while standing in his driving waiting for my cab.

I felt like we really had a connection earlier, the way he felt the words I said instead of just hearing them. The way he threw his head back in genuine laughter after my stupid little jokes. The way he looked at me like I was the only girl in the world before kissing me. The way he -

I needed to stop thinking about him in this way. It just couldn't happen, there's no way he could have felt the things that I felt. I thought Calum felt that way and look what happened.

It's too good to be true Jenna and you know it. You should have learned your lesson the first time.

"Jenna!" Harry yelled for me while running down his driveway.

"I'm sorry Jenna I know I just met you and I shouldn't have -"

"It's fine Harry, really" I say cutting him off.

"At least let me drive you home?" He says smiling the smallest smile as he shrugs his shoulders, hands in pockets.

"It's ok really, a cab is on its way" I say trying to be as polite as I can.

A minute or so of awkwardness passes by before the cab pulls up and I open the door.

"See you tomorrow I guess" he says looking at me with sad eyes.

"See you tomorrow" I say trying to smile but fail as I hop in the cab and it drives off.

My mind is racing the entire drive home. Playing back the events that just occurred, so many questions I wish I could ask, but instead I focus on the road ahead as I lean against the window.

I get home and take off my makeup before hopping in the shower and getting into my favourite polar bear pyjamas and curl up in bed.

I attempt to read an article in the new Seventeen Magazine that is sitting on my nightstand but my mind is too cluttered and I can't seem to focus on it.

Everything tonight seems so real, so raw with him, but I knew I couldn't get attached again only to be let down.. again.

There's no way he was feeling the same way about me that I had been him.

After about an hour of restlessness I finally fell asleep nervous for what tomorrow would bring.
-

Hi guys I know it's short and maybe not my best but it's 3:00am and I felt guilty for not updating so I decided to write a little :) I'll be updating again probably tomorrow night! Thank you so much for reading, I know it's kind of slow but I know it bugs me when writers write super fast on wattpad so I'm trying to brace myself. Love all of you readers :)
Xo