[ 2 ]
It'd been a month since I killed the boy. His name was James. James Kaye.
Lori Kaye had been out of school for the most part, only coming in to get work. She'd catch my eye sometimes, as she rushed through the hall. I looked at her with a numbness that shook my whole body. She was a reminder of the dent in my car, the blood on my hands. But she was also a reminder of the blood I saved. I wasn't sure how to feel about it.
And by the look she replied with, neither did she.
The school did countless assemblies to honour him, and countless more to warn people about drinking and driving. Little did they know that the culprit of it all was sat listening. I felt dirty, I felt like I didn't deserve to be sitting in the same room that James used to.
I didn't know him much. He was in higher sets than me, hung around with better people than me. But I recognised the empty seats in the few classes we did have together.
Lori Kaye was in the year below, but equally as smart. Apart from me, no one knew about what almost happened that night. The Kaye family could've lost a whole generation.
I hadn't spoken to my friends for a month, and they were starting to get suspicious. Even Caleb, my best friend, had started asking questions.
It was a Tuesday lunch time that everything switched tracks. I was sat alone, leaning against the Maths block with my knees tucked up and my eyes closed, when I felt a shadow block my sun.
I opened my eyes slowly to see a strained Lori.
"Brady?" Her voice squeaked. As she spoke, the whole school seemed to listen. She turned around to gawk at the weight now upon her. I knew what the collective school was thinking. Is that James' sister? Why is James' sister talking to Brady Carter?
If people weren't asking questions about me before, they certainly would now.
"Yes." I finally replied, clearing my throat. She turned back to me now, conscious of the eyes on her and the pressure on us.
Without saying anything else, she sat next to me and leant her head back against the wall.
"You're the only person who knows." She whispered. "No one else. My brother knew... but..." She trailed off, almost emotionless. The wind was louder than both of us combined. The rest of the school seemed to forget we were there and carried on milling about their usual business. "It's my fault." She said sharply, making fists against the grass on the floor.
If only she knew. I shook my head at her, but she wasn't looking.
"His friends said he left the party shouting about me. He wasn't thinking straight, and he got hit. Because of me." She emphasised the 'me'. I shook my head fervently now.
"No." Was all I could manage. If I said anything else, I'd confess. Maybe I should confess, I deserved prison for murder. I murdered someone, and I was still sat here basking in sunlight while he was seven feet underground.
"If I had jumped, he wouldn't have died. I know it. I was meant to die that night and because I didn't he... he... I should've-" She was babbling now, quietly, in breaths and weeps, but no tears came. If she had jumped that night then both children would be dead. James' death had nothing to do with Lori. It was James' death that allowed me to race to the canyon.
James' absence meant Lori's life. My murder meant her guilt.
"Stop it." I snapped, and she finally turned to look at me. Her eyes had so much life left in them. Her eyes, another version of James' but hers were alive.
