Forget Regret: Fuenciado

The Cheap Bouquet

The Cheap Bouquet- Chapter 5

After last night I couldn't get my mind off of Vic. Well...correction, I hadn't gotten my mind off of Vic since he arrived but now I REALLY couldn't get him off of my mind. Just the way he kissed me like he meant it. The way he held me like he didn't want to let go. I sound so crazy but if you had felt what I did last night you would be the same. I just laid on my bed and thought about the man in my basement. I had this strange urge to just stay in my room. Like something bad would happen if I saw Vic today.

There was a lot that could go wrong. He could ignore me or just be rude. Or worse, he could tell me that he was just 'caught in the moment' and that he 'didn't want to hurt my feelings'. As if that makes me feel better. Sometimes I really hate that there can be downsides to perfect situations. Basically anything in life could go wrong at any moment and you had no say in it. I just didn't want to lose Vic. Even without my obsession over him he was one of my best friends at the moment. Losing him would mess me up pretty bad.

Not to mention my mother would not be too happy with me OR Vic if he left.

I was hungry but I wasn't to the point that I would risk seeing Vic over it so I just continued to sit on my bed and do nothing. I wasn't one for just sitting there and doing nothing but thats all I feel like doing right now. Eventually, I got up and grabbed my guitar. If I can't see Vic ill sing about him. I kept strumming until I found the right tune then started to sing the lyrics I practically knew by heart now.

And I just fell in the deep end

Like a lush without her weekend

but I wrote this for you kid

its not what i wanted, i need it

but man its a long trip

from all the crazy things I've seen in this world

I'm blessed, i guess

but what if i was a secret

and you couldn't keep it

and i swear i saw something good in your eyes before

and if i sang it in the right key

and i asked you politely for you to find a way home

I strummed for an instrumental break before the sound of a clearing throat made me slip and play the wrong note. I quickly looked to the door to see Vic leaning against the door frame. He had on a tye dye rainbow Thrasher hoodie with black skinny jeans and socks. His hair wasn't straightened today and it was in curls around his jaw and neck. I gulped and fumbled for my guitar as it started to slide off my lap. "H-hey Vic uh fuck." I whispered as I lost my grip on the guitar again. It landed on the floor with the sound of the strings clashing against the neck. I heard Vic giggle from the door way and he walked over to me. "Let me get this before you break it." He said. He picked up the guitar and put it on its stand in the corner.

I was having a mental melt down. I had no idea what to say. My plan was to not see Vic at all today but then he  just shows up in my doorway while I'm singing about him. Thanks, universe. I scoot back against the headboard as Vic sat on the end of my bed. As he turned to face me he brought his legs up onto the bed and crossed them. "What were you singing?" Vic asked with a gleam of curiosity in his eyes. "Um uh it was the uh song you asked me to write." I asked. I couldn't make eye contact any longer so I played with my hands in my lap. I don't know whats going on. I can usually confidently talk to Vic and not screw everything up. I guess today was different after all, we did make out against his bed last night. "Whats it about?" He asked and scooted closer to me.