Not His Happiness

Prologue -The Dream

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; So I love you because I know no other way 

that this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand so close that your eyes close as i fall asleep.

-Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda

"I love you."

I smiled at the man sitting beside me. He was good looking, lean and strong. He had violet eyes that sparks whenever he looked at me. I wanted to memorize every detail of his face, every detail of his body for I know once I wake up, I would forget what he looked like. 

Yes, a dream. He was a dream. But I loved him.

He gently brushed my cheek with the back of his hands. Whenever he did this, I fell deeper in love with him. "You've been studying literature?"

"Hmm, it was actually an assignment, but when I heard this particular sonnet by Pablo Neruda, I remembered you."  

"You made me happy Erin." He kissed me on my forehead. I snuggled beside him and hugged him tight.

"Hey, that was quite a hug," he said laughing.

"I wanted to be with you." 

"I am with you."

"I mean in reality. This is just a dream, when I wake up, I will forget you."

She started to have these dreams about him after her grandmother died a year ago. He became her friend, counselor and now a lover. He was a good listener, she talks a lot and he listened a lot, but he never complained, he even said that he loved listening to  her whims and complaints.

"Don't you want to be with me?" I asked while looking down at my lap, trying to held back my tears. 

"I love to," he bulled up my chin so he can see my face. "I wanted to."

"So, is it possible?" I leaned closer to him. "Is there a way we can do it?"

"N-no!" his body stiffened. "It's dangerous and forbidden." he looked away from me.

I cupped his beautiful face with my hand and turned him to mine. "I will take the risk."

He pulled my hand down and slightly pushed me away from him. "I can't lose you. We can't be together."

"But I want you," I said and tugged his arm. My tears started to fall on my cheeks. " I need you." I stood up and started to walk away from him, knowing that any moment I would wake up.

"Please don't do this Erin," he pleaded, "It's breaking me."

I turned around to face him. "You don't understand. You're all I have now, and I need you in my life not in my dreams!"

He was just standing there, around two meters aways from me. I could see that he was holding back something. He looked angry, but I was angry as well. Too angry that I wanted to beat the hell out of him.

"That's it," I know I was becoming selfish and unreasonable but if this was a way to convince him, so be it. "I think this is all just a dream. I just made you in my mind because I am going crazy. You are not real. Or, you simply don't want to be with me because you just pity my craziness and you really don't love me!"

He walked towards me and grabbed my wrist. "Don't say that, you don't know what you are talking about." His eyes were dark now. He was breathig hard like he wanted to calm himself.

"I know what I want and I wanted you!" I was sobbing hard that my shoulders were rocking."Please."

"Will this make you happy?"

"Yes!"

"It could hurt you."

"I don't care as long as I am with you."

He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes like before. He looked like he was worried at something, like he was in some kind of pain. 

"Am I hurting you?" I asked and touched his face. "I'm sorry for being a bitch. Just forget what I said. We can be like this forever you know."

"No, don't call yourself like that," He kissed the tears on my cheeks. "I've been wanting to be with you but afraid to take the risks. I was a coward. But you've changed everything now." He smiled again but this time it reached his eyes.

"I know that we can do it. It will be worth everything."

"You're all worth it, Erin."

"So, when are we going to meet on the other side?"

"Soon." Then he kissed me goodbye.

Yes, another dream about him. But I know that everything will be turned into reality.

Then I woke up.

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This is the prologue. Pls share to me your thoughts about the story. :) 

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love lots,

Meg <3