Life Goals

Form-Ch2

Not exactly sure on the specific premise of form class, but it comes down to starting your school day with a long phone session.  Its sort of like a safety net, 20 minutes sitting in a room with your classmates, and doing nothing. Its also a good reason to be late, because no one will actually care if you skip some of form time. 

But the main idea (I think) of this class, is to spend time with these classmates, and its not always that enjoyable.  Clusters of desks are formed and voices raised. Headphones are plugged in and phones whipped out.  And  most social stereotypes enforced.  

There's a group clustered around someones computer, and  another around someones phone.  other chatting, and some arm wrestles. It could be split into definitive groups if you tried.  Inside one large machine there are several inner workings. And in a college form class there are inner friendships, and ahh disagreements. A lot of them  i'm in, and a lot  i'm not.

And in all these inner wheels there are people that transfer from one if  circle to anther. And other that try hard, but eventually jam.  One of them is called, Josh?

And his ego proceeds him anyway possible, rather annoying. He swings from group to group as if hes some drugged up monkey. They seem to like it but i can't help but find him annoying. Maybe i don't like people. Or slightly more like, i don't like him in particular. Which would be understandable if you knew him. I can't exactly place my finger on it but he has a spark of elitism about him. Which is not a bad thing, but he tends to bring out its worst qualities.

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Imagine a pack of gazelles, with coyotes in its midst. While not being  something that would directly harm someone, they would lick their bones dry until someone felt terrible.  People will dp that, nag away  and away slowly draining your confidence but never ever will they deliver a killing blow. They won't tell anyone they won't even think of what they're doing, They'll just slowly edge towards that opening, and fail to take it.

An example of this would be, someone called John. John is perfectly happy to slowly drain away at someone without even realising the effects of his actions and words. But would never do something rash, or one large incident that would flip someone over the edge. But hes perfectly happy to let them teeter. They're so close to falling, into a dark void of oblivion and self hate. However he would never push them in, or be able to admit it to himself that he was partly responsible.

He reminds me of a swarm of locusts , or a mosquito. There are so many people out there that are mosquitoes.  They're able  to ruin someones day. Or pass on any stress or anger they have to another. Crack a joke at another expense , until it becomes a regular habit. A daily occurrence , they think "Oh this isn't right i'll stop". Or even worse they won't admit to themselves what they have done. A mosquitoes bite may give you malaria. But its the malaria that kills you. 

Who are they to pass on something like that, who are they negatively affect someones life, it can lead to such harsh consequences. 

But it can't be tracked down. You can't sue a mosquito for someones death. You can't trace back and see how it happened. Because they will fly away. John will come and bite you with some remark. And fly away. He'll set someone off but never deal with the consequences.

And sadly enough in my formclass there are John's. And it is a terrible terrible terrible thing. A form class is a body that interacts , but there's so much information that's not out on the table. A form class is full of secrets , and inner circles, and johns. But no one bothers to dig deeper. 

We're a school of fish swimming past each other. Meager interactions ensured but nothing deep is. No one really knows anything. It's almost as if its a game of poker, were everyone has a weakness.

And sadly there are people who will look for these and poke and prod. Being in a form class can either make or break you. Its a  forced coalition towards education, so the attitude won't be that great. But as an experience it can break you. People will just pass by, and forget of your existence, an that's it. People can push you to the edge and leave you there a hairs breadth, from depression. What worse is they won't even realise it. But it will get better because it must. Were ever you are ,whatever is happening. It can all ways either get better or worse. 

Whats important is that you make the best of it.

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What the actual have i just written? SO many animal analogies im dyeing. Its like quarter to one in the morning and i'm not thinking straight. But updates will be more frequent. Yay? :)