Our Home, Our Place ( Harry Styles. )

Chapter 23.What I've Been Looking For

Chapter 23.

Dionne's POV

A silence lingered for a long time after I told Harry that I was pregnant with his baby. He didn't say a word and froze on the spot. I finally had enough of the akwards silence so I spoke up.

"Haz, say something." I almost pleaded. I needed to know if he was mad at me or he was happy.

No answer...

He suddenly stood up, with hands in his hair as he walked out. He clearly didn't like the idea of beeing a dad then. Great, just my luck. I grabbed a pillow of my bed and cuddled with it. Soft sobs escaped my lips when the feeling of sadness kicked it. He just left me here, alone with only myself.

With tears still running down my cheeks,I stood up from the bed. I ignored the dizzyness as I flew down the stairs in haste. My breathing was ragged, every inhale was desperate. I ran through the livingroom, the worried looks of Marieke and Louis freshly imprinted in my mind. The keys to my red Opel lay in a bowl on the table by the front door. I took them out and before anyone could stop me, I angrily slammed the door on my way out. I ran to my car, flinging open the drivers' door for me to step in. The tires screeched as I sped off down the street without my seatbelt on. I couldn't care less about that or the speed limit right now. I was probably way over it anyways. My tear-filled, blurry vision almost had me crashing against cars. The horns of the cars stayed in my mind as a dark voice spoke in my head.

'He rejected you,he doesn't want you or the baby. '

''He doesn't love you. Never has, never will.'

'You're worthless, go die.'

'Just drive off the road and crash somewhere, no one will care.'

I had hit rock bottom, the words were beginning to consume me. Black spots were apparent before my eyes. I was really close to just drive into tree.

"No one will care..." I whispered to myself.

'No one will care if you're there when the dawn breaks.

No one will care if you're not home for dinner.

No one loves you, no one will miss you if you're gone.

Just walk away and don't look back. '

The dark lyrics flowed in my mind. But as a light in complete darkness,my sane part reminded me of a perfect little baby that is growing inside of me. He or she derserves a life. I can't go a head and kill myself.

I took a deep breath and slowed down the car, control returning in my hands. I parked the car by a lonely beach in the middle of nowhere. It was pretty though. My phone interrupted me in my thoughts. Harry was calling me. I ignored the call, not feeling to speak to him right now as dissapointment and anger still flowed through my veins. I checked my call list to see that Louis and Marieke had also called but the most were from Harry. I had 72 missed calls that I hadn't even noticed in my dark state. I didn't call anyone of them back as I just wanted to be alone for a time.

The time on my phone mentioned it was around 6 PM. That means I have almost been driving for two hours. I slowly walked down to the beach, the sand felt soft between my toes. I forgot to put on shoes and a coat in March, I am such a dumbass. I reached the shore line and before my body could fall down on the sand from lack of energy, I quickly sat down. The sight in front of me was calming. Crashing waves in the sea, birds flew over the water to try and catch fish and the turning of tides I noticed the longer I was sitting there. With closed eyes, I listened to the crashing waves in the sea. The sounds were relaxing my whirlwind of a mind. Since it was already evening, a star filled sky was above me. Even after all the times I looked above, it still amazed me. Suicidal thoughts were driven out of my head and calmness came in. If Harry doesn't want the baby, I still will keep it. It's my child also and I can't kill another human life, especially not the one of my son or daughter.