random

poem

When I don't have to go somewhere I just sit in my room for whole days straight, but when I do I pretend I'm happy. Apparently I became so good at hiding that people really think I've gone better, but no I still feel the same shitty way as always. In the evenings, when it's time to go upstairs, I walk up the stairs 'happilly'. But when I step into my room I close the door, fall down onto my bed and start crying. The silent tears, where you hysterically grab your stomach to just be silent so no one hears you. You feel the tears falling down on your hand, just like drip...drip...drip...drop. You beg yourself in the mirror to just hold on, with the tears streaming down your face. That's what real anxiety feels like. The fear of feeling like this forever