What He Was, What She Deserves

Little Girls

They caught up with Dawn just as she turned off into an alleyway. Spike tried to hold back his urge to put on a cocky 'told you so' attitude, yet couldn't help but chuckle at the stereotypical teen rebellion. Any idiot could tell Dawn was feeling neglected. She was nearly begging for attention from her big sis.

"What the hell is she doing? I can't believe she lied to me!" Buffy whispered harshly. She began to walk straight towards where her sister had begun talking to Janice until he grabbed her arm.

"C'mon love. Let her have her fun. Only young once you know." He smiled. "'nless you're me."

"I'm not going to let her go off alone in the middle of the night!"

"You won't be. We'll be watchin' the whole time. Just give her some space." She didn't respond but didn't confront Dawn like she wanted to either. It was becoming more and more difficult to look after her sister since her resurrection. She just didn't have the energy anymore. And with the challenge of paying bills and keeping the demon population at bay she felt like she may explode at any given moment. Tears began to surface, but instead of letting them go she swallowed down her emotions and followed Dawn and Janice as they headed toward the park.

Spike watched out of the corner of his eye as Buffy began blinking away tears. Seeing her in distress like this was enough to make him want to tear apart whatever was causing her pain. Except it couldn't be helped, not by him anyway. Being ripped from heaven was the culprit and the only way to send her back there was to... No. He was too bloody selfish to let her get away again. There had to be another way to make her happy.

They stopped at the edge of a park. The girls began talking with two teenage boys. The one in a letterman jacket took special interest in Dawn, looking at her hungrily.

"Oh, bugger." Spike rolled his eyes at the pathetic boys.

"What is it?"

"Can't you tell? They've made a date with two idiot fledglings. I thought your slayer senses would have told you that long ago." He tilted his head at her. "You feeling ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Spike. Less talk, more slay." She revealed herself from their hiding place and walked purposefully towards the teens. "Hey guys. Whatcha doing?"

"Buffy! Were you following me?" Dawn gave her an angry glare that soon transformed into a very guilty look.

"'lo Nibblet. How bout you two scamper off. Me and sis will take care of the wankers."

"Hey! They didn't do anything wrong!" Janice piped in. The vampire behind her knowingly smirked and tugged her against him in a choke hold. She shrieked, rethinking her previous statement.

"Hush little girl. You're coming with me." The vamp began dragging her towards the trees. Spike looked at them and remembered his days of preying on 'little girls'. The urge rarely revealed itself anymore, but watching her squirm made his demon restless. Nonetheless, a bit of rough and tumble would please him just as well.

He pried the fledge off of Janice and pushed him to the ground while Buffy began sparring with the other one. Within a matter of seconds they were both dust.

Janice had fallen and looked up at them in awe. She casually tried to tame her crazy hair with her fingers. "So, what the heck were those dudes?"

"Nothing of your concern pet." Spike reached a hand out to the girl and she took it eagerly, holding on longer than necessary as she awkwardly got up. Buffy shifted uncomfortably at the gesture.

"Let's go Dawn. We can talk about this when we get home."

                             ...

The three of them trudged into the house, Buffy taking the lead. Xander, Willow, and Anya were dancing in the living room without a care in the world. Giles hurriedly turned off the music with relief.

"Hey, we were just getting our funk on." Willow exclaimed sadly. Spike cleared his throat and she turned smartly on her heel. "Oh, hi Spike and Buffy and... Dawn?"

"What happened?" Giles asked.

"Oh, nothing much. Dawn just decided to make a date with a vampire." Buffy said the final word sternly and gave her sister a dark look of disapproval.

Dawn withered under her older sister's glare and muttered, "I didn't know he was dead," with her eyes trained on the floor. Buffy had nothing to say in response: she just rolled her eyes.

Spike watched the interaction wanting to speak up but not knowing what to say. He felt it would be best to support Buffy in disciplining Dawn, but he thought the bit's unspoken excuses were justified. Big sis wasn't the most comforting or reassuring figure and, being a teenager, Dawn was just seeking out some guidance in a very daft way. He wanted to be there for both of them, yet had no idea how.

Buffy began to feel completely drained. She barely had enough vigor to make her disappointment with Dawn's actions convincing. Honestly, it was becoming hard to care about her sister unless she was put in some life threatening situation, but once the threat was gone protective Buffy turned back to depressed, monotone Buffy, the most true version of herself these days. There were so many faces to remember to put on that she began to care less and less as time went on. It was too much to keep up with.

After a few minutes of awkwardly lounging in the living room with Dawn sitting patiently at the dining table, Anya and Xander decided to leave. The happy mood of the couple had been put on hold and they'd silently agreed to resume it by heading home.

"Sorry about the party."

"Don't worry about it." Xander

"It gave me time to plan the bridal shower. Where do we order obscenely muscular male strippers?" Anya asked, earning a look of disapproval mixed with fear from her fiancé.

"Ahn..."

"Kidding. Jeez." The couple began walking out the door; Anya mouthing words to Buffy and being completely ignored. Willow began talking, but was disregarded as well. Buffy was too lost in thought to join in on normal conversation. Even though she was completely drained, she wanted to patrol more since the fledge wasn't nearly enough to tame her need for violence. Maybe she would train for a bit tomorrow or even spar with Spike, who was the only person she could stand to be around. He didn't pretend like everyone else did. Somehow he always knew what was going on in her head. And his complete transparency around her was a comfort. It made it so Buffy didn't have to think to much.

She was pulled from her thoughts when Spike, without his leather duster, came into her line of vision. He was wearing a very distracting, tight long sleeve sweater that made him seem more human. She didn't like it.

"Think we could have that chat?" He said all too impatiently. His face looked serious and, for some unknown reason, fear pitted in Buffy's stomach. She didn't want to deal with anything serious at the moment.

"Can we do this tomorrow Spike? I'm not feeling very chatty." He opened his mouth to argue, but shut it just as quickly and gave a small nod instead. He needed Buffy to be listening for what he had to say.

"Tomorrow then?" He stated hopefully and she gave a noise of agreement. He stared at her for a minute. She looked utterly exhausted: dark circles were forming under her dull-looking eyes and she looked small, fragile. He still thought she was a vision of course, yet couldn't help but want to comfort her into a deep sleep or make her eat something for a change. They stood at the foot of the stairs awkwardly. The only noise in the house was Giles chiding Dawn in the dining room. They remained looking at each other in a sad haze until Spike managed to come to his senses. "I-I'll bugger off." She turned and began trudging up the stairs without a response.