~ Chapter One ~
As I lye here on my bed, with your beer on my breath, I finally wonder to my self if this was the right time. I knew my mother was down the hall, and that we may have woken her, but it wasn't really a thought in my head thirty minutes ago. And now I realize its too late to take anything back now at this point. I realized I couldn't get my virginity back, nor the love that I had felt for Kris.
I sat up with the sheets covering my body, and just watched Kris get re-dressed. Now didn't seem like the right time to say anything, neither did I know what to say. What would anyone say when they have just had sex for the first time, when you knew you weren't ready, or knew you really didn't love this person, but forced yourself to think you did?
When he finished, he came to the side of my bed and gave me a quick kiss on my forehead without saying anything. Afterwards, he left from where he had came in from, the window.
I fell back, slamming my head in to the pillows. You'd think after this extreme moment in a girls life, she'd have crazy emotions and that her thoughts would be all over the place; but, I wasn't like that at all. I actually just laid on my bed staring in to my ceiling, thinking of absolutely nothing.
What exactly was I supposed to be thinking about? About how he pushed himself on me, and how I allowed him to? Or maybe about how he was drunk? Or maybe, simply, just how I felt about it?
As I laid on my bed my eyes slowly kept closing, until I was fully passed out, away from this nightmare.
