~ Chapter 2 ~
I woke up with the sheets covering half of my body, exposing my chest. As I sat up I had noticed the window still opened, revealing my body to the cold, bone-chilling winter. With my feet firm on the ground, and me feeling a little light headed, I got up with the sheets wrapped around me and closed the window.
I then slipped on an old, raggedy t-shirt to cover me, and a pair of jeans to hide my legs from the winter. Afterwards, I laid down on my bed, once again just staring in to the ceiling. This time, I did have a little more thought to what had happened last night; but, I did what I usually do, and tried to push the thoughts away.
As my eye leaned over to the night stand, I saw my phone. I had tried to look away from it, not wanting to see his name pop up, or wanting to hear from him. But yet again, my body was working without my mind. My hand had reached over to the night stand, and sadly, I had grabbed the phone. As hard as I was trying to avoid this "talk" with him, and just trying to avoid everything about last night, I knew it would have to be approached at some point in my life.
I unlocked my phone and shockingly there was no notifications. Nothing. Nada. Just a blank screen sitting in front of my face. But why am I having this feeling of hate for him now? Just because he didn't call to check up on me, or didn't even have the decency to even text me? Why am I so mad now, when I know I don't want to talk to him either? I know I'm trying to avoid him. Maybe he's just trying to do the same.
Ugh. I hate this. I'm allowing myself to get mad at him, when I'm trying to avoid him too. I hate this mixed emotions shit. Why did I even let any of this happen? I knew I'd regret it, so why did I still keep last night going?
I had no answers to my own questions. I had no answer for last night. Nor do I have an answer for why I'm so mad. My emotions were just taking over.
I wish I could ignore my feelings and my mind.
