Alternate Universe

The Words

I swallowed real hard, fighting back the tears that attempts to escape from my eyes. She's been here. I looked around, making sure that I'm the only person left in this room. The building is almost empty. My heart pounded hard against my ribcage. I heard nothing but how loud the silence is. I slowly walk towards my table, and saw a letter that lays in there. Beside of it was a picture of two girls, one kissing the other's cheek and one smiling brightly at the camera. I sobbed. My knees are shaking trembly, and I feel my energy was drained, simply by looking at the picture. She kissed me while I took the picture. My chest tightens. I can't seem to breathe. But I was trying real hard to pull myself together. I picked up the picture, and I can't help myself but to smile at how good we once were in the picture. A lot of memories flashes in me, and I sobbed once more. Another tear has flowed, and I used the remaining energy to pick up the paper and open it.

"There's this something I want to confess to you, things I never said when I had the chance. I thought some things are better left unsaid, but now those things are haunting me.

I admired and watched you from distance- because that's more better than talking to you and let myself fall for you even more when I know from the start we can't be together. Damn, I was too greedy for your attention and I took the risk by approaching you that day.

I knew I was failing miserably from refraining myself in biting the temptation when I talk to you. It was a nice feeling to always talk with you. I always wait for you and believe me- you were the only person I always talk to. You told me to make friends and talk to others as well, I told you I don't want to because I hate humans - but the real reason is, you were the only one I wanted to talk to. I love how you always made me feel special. I love how you always treat me like a princess. I might always say the otherwise but I believed all those words you said to me. You have no idea how you made me feel with those sweet words of yours, the rose you gave me this morning. I noticed all the little things you do for me.

But then this morning you asked me to let you go, because I told you I would if you think there's someone that is taking you away from me. I understand- in that moment, I really have to let you go before things get messier than it already were.

Love, I'm sorry if I always sounded like a brat all the time. I just love the feeling when you show extra affection to me. I'm sorry for being selfish, for wanting you all by myself when I know I can't give you a relationship. I'm so sorry for everything, I just hope that if there's an alternate universe, you and I are happy loving each other.

Thank you for everything, love. With you were the happiest days of my life. Might be too short for other people but whenever I was with you it feels like an eternity. I know I'll never go back again and we'll never get a chance to talk again, I'll just visit you in my dreams and relive those moments when we were together.

Lastly, baby. The words that haunting me, the words I always wanted to say all the time I talk to you, everytime I kiss your lips, staring into your eyes or just simply talking. The words that I never said before- I love you."

Tears race down to my cheeks, as my world shattered into pieces. Her words are very painful, and if it was a weapon, it would be a knife and every word it utters is a knife that stabbed my heart. In this moment, I wish I was stabbed in the chest with a real knife instead. For a moment I was dead silent, and my body was shaking. I swallowed all the tears in my throat, hoping that the tears would stop. I fell down on my knees, and uttered the words I wish she heard. I love you. I love you, too. I love you so much. Please. Please take back your words and come back...

I wiped the tears helplessly, and even though no matter how I keep doing so, I'm still wet, like someone had just spill her water to me. I sobbed. My heartbeat keeps in increasing its phase and I am slowly losing my breath. With all the strength I have, I stood up, stupidly crying. I keep biting my lips, just to prevent myself from screaming the pain away. I winced in pain when I felt the wound in my lips all the biting cause. I've struggling hard.

And although I was still feel weak, still crying, I stormed out the classroom. Every angle of everything reminds me the happiness we had. And the steps we used to walk, damn it just feels so painful. I couldn't handle it anymore.

I sobbed so loud. I screamed for her name. And even though I know there's no way she'll be hearing me, I screamed the words that might convince her to come back.

Please come back. Please... please...

I pleaded all the while.

Even though I know she won't.

She never came back, and never said the reason why we can't be together.

I screamed again, calling for her name. Maybe then, just maybe,  she would hear me this time.

But none approached. She never came back.

A lot of memories flashed in my head. Her smile, her laugh, her blonde hair... her words. Her lips.

I'll never get to see them again.