We made ourselves

1.5 The Real Begining

Emma, day 27 of junior year.
         There is a nice breeze that blew through the hallway. Carrying my way to heavy book bag. I feel I could collapse. As I walk through the crowded hall ways with the occasional look up and wave routine. People are shouting and climbing up the stairwell trying to make it to their next class, and I, as bad as it is, am sitting and taking it all in.

I pass my locker in the a wing and head towards honors algebra two. I drop my book and turn to pick it up. Some how my oversized book bag rammed into a senior who then decides to turn and yell at me. Even after two years now of high school I still don't understand why seniors have so much power over us little guys.

The bell rings as I walk in with the door closing behind me. I look around to see a new class room. Not intentionally new I guess just different. Change is never a good thing for me.

Mrs.Madden says to me "Emma, your seat is back next to......" She pauses. A boy, this time would be considered new, speaks "it's Drew." "Yes Drew, I'm not very good at names you must forgive me for that." If he was wearing a hat he would be pretending to tip it at her but he's not.

I make my way to the back of the class room and sit. The content of my pencil pouch spills onto the floor. My face starts to get red and I don't want to look up and see the people staring at me. Many of the popular girls would blow it off by laughing but not me, I would rather leave, call it a day, go home and sleep. But I don't. I get up from my chair and scoop all the pencils and highlighters that I never use back into the bag.

"Okay class, today we will be learning about the quadratic formula." I drift off form the actual conversation going on and think, as I often do when I'm supposed to be learning. What exactly do teachers do out side of school. I mean if you know them they're pretty chill but I can't imagine Mrs.Madden doing anything but be our classes teaching slave.

I write down and work out the problems on the board the best I can. I see a formula but it's long and looks irrelevant to a real life situation. X=-b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus 4ac /2a. I glance over to Drew's paper and find an entirely filled up neat and tidy page of notes. I then look down at my own and almost feel disappointed in myself for not paying attention as he has.

I try to copy his fancy notes but only get half way through them when the bell rings. Mrs.Madden looks at me and says " Emma could you come here for a second?" Everyone is leaving so I lay my stuff back under my desk and walk to her. "Is something wrong?" She looks worried which worries me even more "Emma, you've always been a good student I just don't know what's gotten into you this year. Is everything going okay at home?"

Home. My world of comfort where I can let go and just be me. "Yes if anything I enjoy my house hold very much, but if you don't need anything I really need to get to my next class." "I'm just worried about you, you've failed your last two quizzes and if you don't do your homework. I'll just give you this suggestion maybe you should get a tutor, I moved the seats to make sure you weren't distracted. I only want to help to." I must look flustered because there is now a frown on here face.

I ask for a pass and walk to grab my stuff. Laying on my desk is a piece of notebook paper. I grab my bag and pick it up. He left his notes for me.