cheerleader || scömìche (boyxboy)

five

(a/n: i feel the need to mention all of my fics are unedited, and if you see a POV change or a terrible grammatical error pleaSE TELL ME. also, enjoy.)

-

Mitch wakes up to darkness, staring at the ceiling for a good ten minutes before he decides, no, he can't go back to sleep. He takes a deep breath, rolling over and grabbing his phone to check just how early he's risen. He squints reflexively, blinking until his eyes adjust so he can read the screen.

5:27. AM. In the morning. He groans and buries his head into his pillow. He closes his eyes, praying for the sweet embrace of sleep. No such thing ever comes to him, and he ends up laying motionless in bed for a solid twenty minutes before he struggles out of bed, wrapped up in his duvet. He grabs his phone, shuffling out into his living room.

Dropping his phone onto the couch, he loops around the furniture and heads into the kitchen to make himself some hot chocolate. Sure, it may be August. Sure, it's hot outside today. Does Mitch care? No, he doesn't. His house is air-conditioned and has the illusion of a chill in it, so hot chocolate is perfectly acceptable right now. He goes through the steps of making hot chocolate in a half daze, singing to himself.

The thought to text Scott 'good morning' briefly passes Mitch's conscious, but he shuts it down because he doesn't want to seem clingy or anything. He's drawn from his mind by the microwave beeping, and he opens it to take out his steaming milk. One packet of Swiss Miss cocoa powder, five marshmallows, and a thin layer of whipped cream later Mitch is satisfied, awkwardly maneuvering his way out into the living room. He places himself gingerly on the couch, setting the mug of hot chocolate on the glass coffee table carefully. He adjusts and gets comfortable, turning some soft music on repeat. His song of choice this morning is "Wolf & I" by Oh Land.

Mitch hums along to the vocals, reaching forwards to grab his mug, sipping the almost-scalding liquid in thought. He's not sure if he has a date today. Of course, he would love to date Scott. He would L-O-V-E it, probably with all of his heart. But to be frank with himself, he doesn't see his own appeal. Mitch isn't sure that Scott would ever even have a desire to be with him. He'd hope so, obviously, but... Mitch is sure that Scott is gay. Sure of it. And Mitch isn't a boy, not completely.

Now he isn't a girl either, necessarily. It's sort of always been a feeling, in the back of his mind. Like maybe the label 'male' isn't right for him, but neither is 'female'. Everyone around him suspects nothing, they just assume he's more feminine because he's gay, because he's a performer. Kirstie is the only one he's ever told that sometimes he likes 'she/her' pronouns. And other times he prefers 'they/them'. It changes and shifts, gender is not a solid thing to him.

The realization that he was genderfluid hit him very hard. He locked himself in his room and contemplated who to tell, when to tell them. He settled on Kirstie because he knows she would never reject him. The fear was still there, though, even if he realistically knew she'd accept him, always.

When he told her she asked about pronouns and apologized for ever misgendering him, and he honestly answered that he didn't mind. Mitch is very lucky to live in the town that he does, because here no one cares. Sure, he'll get the stray homophobic slur thrown at him while he walks down the streets but it doesn't faze him much. Mitch also hasn't told his parents. Or anyone else besides Kirstie. He would love to tell his mom and dad, but he's so unsure if they'll accept him. Being gay and being trans are two different things, and being both might push his parents over the edge.

Mitch's reflective thoughts and pensive sipping-of-his-hot-chocolate are interrupted by his phone vibrating on the couch cushion. He glances down at it, seeing that it's turned over. He picks it up and flips it over, a bright and happy smile coming to his face when he sees it's Scott who's texted him.