cheerleader || scömìche (boyxboy)

a/n: i'm so sorry

general trigger warning for sad things (suicide, eating disorders, depression)

i know, i know. this isn't an actual update for the fic, but it is an update on my life that will hopefully explain why the updates have been and will be so sporadic. (never fear, i'll give you guys an update tonight ♥)

i've been depressed/suicidal since the wee age of 10 years old. five years later i'm still suffering a great deal, and i still feel deeply dissatisfied with my life. two years ago in july i attempted suicide for the first time. after that i've tried a couple more times. now- i am not by any means searching for your pity or anything, because i've mostly moved on from suicidal tendencies. i won't be hurting myself in that way anymore, ever again. i have therapy, i'm working on it. i'm healing.

this summer i really got into pentatonix and they honestly saved me from myself. i started shipping scomiche/kavi and writing fics about them basically right off the bat, and i love it so much. i love characterizing scott and mitch and i love writing AUs. i love that you all love cecilia riley, as well. i love you all. i'm forever grateful for the friendships i've been blessed with due to this fandom.

BUT i recently started school, and that has been taking all of my time and energy away from me, which is why i haven't updated. i usually write a chapter all in one or two goes, yet recently i've had to put aside writing in place of homework and social events. i'm a very social person, i have a lot of friends from school that i'm reconnecting with. i'm tired, i'm worn down, i'm depressed. my dog (aka my best friend) is having many health issues and we don't know how much longer she has with us. i'm figuring out who to keep in my school life, and who to cut out. i have unfortunately developed an eating disorder. my family is worried about me.

this is my formal apology for not updating more, and my formal warning that my updates won't be getting any more regular for about another month until i'm used to the workload. i will update when i can. i'll still write one shots. i will still take one shot requests. PLUS- you can all be looking forwards to another fic that is in the works, but that i won't post until i have at least five chapters finished, so i have some wiggle room with updates.

thank you for staying patient, thank you for always encouraging me.

if any of you are struggling with your gender/sexual/romantic identity or depression or anxiety like i am- please inbox me. please. i am here for you, i always will be.

i love you all dearly, i truly do. i'll update hush tonight, cheerleader tomorrow.

also if any of you are interested, i am considering posting an 'about the author' book, so you can get to know me better. thoughts? please comment below.