Chapter 5
I hated every moment i spent in this building, talking about it doesnt help it just creates more problems... it will never get better, they say it does.. but its been ten long dreadful years since my parents death... but than i realized its their tenth death anniversary, that explained the dream of the death it happens all the time, but whats with the smoke in my dream? and only in that room? why was Lou & Tom was there? maybe because they adopted me.. there's no way... what if there was a specific reason why they were in my dream.
im not sure, and its definatly something i dont want to talk about with the counselor. I went in the elevator i go into every thursday afternoon each session lasting half an hour to an hour long. but this time im meeting a new counselor, I wish she was still here... i hate new counselar who talk to remind you about everything that happened to you.
i exit the elevator and walks towards the office i go into every wednesday.. sometimes when i was younger id freak out and scream so they moved me and my counselar further so we wouldnt intrupt other workers, but growing it stopped and i'd just get angry and walk out. I reached the door and opened it, revealing the room i hate with a lad sitting in the chair where she use to sit the week before. he smiled at me.
"Hi Mia c'mon and have a seat" he says nicely "im Jacob Murray" he says. I walk in and had a seat on the comfortable chair.
"hi Mr. Murray" i say nicely, he looks to be late twenties, looks trustworthy. i smiled back at him.
"well, i guess we can take this time to meet eachother so you can be comfortable enough to speak to me, and keep this strictly professional" he says nicely. i thought about, not like i have a choice to say no. and whats this strictly professional shit?
"okay, well as you know im Mia... Mia Atkin, i'm adopted.. they changed my last name to theirs" i told him.. i dont care it's not like its a BIG secret. he listens to me expecting me to continue i give him a look to signal his turn.
"well, you know my name, ermm... your my first client... i recently graduated from my school" he says plainly.. oh interesting shit bro..
"ohh, cool i guess.. well my parents died by murder, i've been seeing a counselor for ten years.. and thats how long my parents have been dead, but you already know that.. and actaully i dont think i have any time so do this shit" i say upset.. i was going to get up and walk but he grabbed my friend.
"excuse me but can you let go of my hand!" i say angry trying to pull my hand away.. i look into his eyes.
"please stay, i know you dont want to be here.. but believe it or not i want to help you" he pleads, and then that was my last straw and i exploded.
"WHAT? you call THIS helping?!?! REMINDING ME OF MY PAST?!!!" i yell... this is why i fucking hate counselors.
"no.. but it will he-" i cut him off
"NO IT WONT! I'VE BEEN COMING HERE FOR TEN YEARS! AND NOTHING CHANGED!" i yell getting angrier by the second every session comes flowing back.. everything that happened in my past comes flowing back.. every memory... than the next thing i knew i fell to my knees and started crying... i felt him come beside me and held my while i cried.. it felt like hours but all it was ten minutes by the time i was done crying.. i looked up and saw him... his eyes were beautiful color.. blue greenish color. my eyes fell to his lips, i had this urge to kiss him all of a sudden like it wasnt me. next thing i knew my lips crashed into his.. and he kissed me back, we started making out. things were heating up. his hand cupping my breast and started massaging it, a moan broke out of my lips as his other hand fiddling around with the hem of my shirt pulling it up revealing my stomach. as soon i remember the scars on my stomach i stopped him right away, he looked into my eyes with a whats wrong look? than his eyes were shocked as we both realized what was happening, i got up right away and looked at him.. his eyes looked sad, than his gaze dropped down right away
"im so sorry" he said whispering, i could hear the regret in his voice. all i wanted was him, i dont know what was wrong with me.. but i wanted him.
"it's okay, im just going to go.. i ermm... see you tomorrow" i said all quickly grabbing my bag and exited the room going towards the bathroom. i rubbed the messed up make up off, and redid it.. i heard someone enter the bathroom, which was strange no one comes to this bathroom i looked over and saw Jacob coming towards me. i turned to him.
"uhh, your in the girls washroom" i plainly stated, duuh Mia! ofcourse he knew! he comes walking towards me.
"i know i just wanted to apologize, i dont know what came over me" he said abit ashamed.
"it's okay i said" i said abit annoyed.. he looks at me seeing him look at my lips trailing down to my body, i blushed i was so insecure about my body. as he looked back at me and smiled notcing that im blushing.
"okay, so i guess it'd be okay if i do this?" he said as he bit my bottom lip seductively and pulled at his. ah fuck! how much im enjoying this.
"no, i dont mind" i said.. i didnt care.. this it a different feeling i ever had in my life and im enjoying it. than his lips chrashed into mine.. as we made out our kiss getting sloppy, than he picked me up and i wrapped my legs around him.. as they did in fanfics.. and movies.. ugh not the time to think about that! he slammed me against the wall. my hand tangled in his black hair while the other arm holding him. after awhile we stopped breathing heavily. i must say this was the best kiss i ever experianced.
"uh, i think i should get going to school" i said.. abit shy.
"okay, uhh.. i get it if you dont come back tomorrow" he says abit worried.
"ermm.. ill be back.. just not for this. just for a session" i said, i cant do this he's a fucken twenty something. i dont mind if its only twenty but this is crazy! absurd! he looked happy and yet abit dissapointed.
"okay, strictly professional" as he put his left hand on his right side i laughed wrong way dude, guess he wants more. made me smile thinking about it. wait NO stop! you cant.
"yuup" i said laughing walking away from him "bye" i said walking out of the bathroom i heard a faint bye.
i left and cathed a bus to school. i walked in school looking for Zach... abit dissapointed of what happened back there.. that wasnt suppose to happen. than i spotted him in the caffeteria. i walked up to him smiling
"hi Zach" i said and he jumped abit looking relieved when he saw me
"hi Mia" he says. i sat down beside him. looking around and saw a pair of icey blue eyes at me i quickly look away.
