no regrets // kellic

Chapter One

Kellin's POV:
"Kells! C'mon, Kells! Please, Kellin, please say something!" I could faintly hear Vic sobbing. How did I get here? How did I even let this happen to myself? I'm stronger this, I have to be... I thought I was. I thought I could make it. Breathe, Kellin, breathe.

I needed to talk to Vic. Every time I tried to speak, my throat would vibrate and my mouth would go dry. Is this normal? I looked frantically at Vic, as tears pooled in mine and his eyes. He looked so hurt, so crushed. I can't leave him. I can't do this to him! He can't do this on his own. My bottom lip quivered as I took in another deep breath. The beeping from the monitor seemed to get louder. The sound echoed in my head, until it was all I could hear. The noise sounded more like high pitched screams in my ear, rather than beeping.

The beeps got louder and louder. I tried covering up my ears, to protect them from the piercing screams, but I couldn't move. My hands were stuck clinging to the bars on the hospital bed. What is happening to me? Am I dying? This is what it's like to die? This was too much too handle. I tried to blink my tears away, but the second I closed my eyes, they wouldn't open back up. Darkness was all I could see.

Screaming was all I could hear.

This was it. This is the part where I'd finally die. I could still feel Vic's shaky hands touch me all over, trying to get a reaction out of me. I couldn't even get a reaction out of myself. Is this what it's like? To die?

Maybe I'm already dead. No, I can't be. I could still feel Vic's hands on my face. His grip was shaky and tight. I felt his warm lips press against my forehead, and his grip tighten, tight enough that it would've hurt, but I couldn't feel the pain. The only pain I could feel, was towards him. I don't want to leave Vic.

Choking. There's nothing choking me. I'm choking. I tried coughing, wheezing, anything, but it was no use. Vic's nails dug into my neck; with his forehead pressed hard against mine, I could feel his tears, falling fast, dripping down my face. The more I struggled, the harder it was to breathe. I could feel my own chest moving up and down rapidly. I could hear my own heartbeat, echoing through my bones.

Then it stopped. It all stopped. I'm dead. I can't be dead. I can't be! I'm not over! This isn't over!

Suddenly, the last thing I felt was Vic's grip being torn away from my burning skin, and that's when I knew that it was over. I was over.

--

Six weeks earlier:

"I really think we should call and book an appointment. I really think something is going on, Kells." Oliver looked across the room at me in concern.

My heart rate has been irregular lately, and I passed out last night at Oli's place. I've had heart issues in the past, but they haven't been this severe before.

I woke up this morning on Oliver's couch. I don't remember anything from last night, and I didn't even drink. We had a Netflix marathon and apparently I passed out while taking my pills in the bathroom, well that's at least what Oliver told me when I woke up. He carried me to the couch, and I was out all night.

"I don't know, Oli. What if we're just overlooking it a bit?" I croaked. Maybe we are overreacting. I mean, this has happened in the past.

Oliver shook his head and walked over to the couch.
"You were like... dead last night, mate. Like honestly thought I'd have to find a body bag and bring your lifeless body to your mom, myself." He smiled and took a sip of his coffee. I giggled and burrowed my face in the pillow.

As much as I wanted to avoid the problem, I wouldn't be able to put up with Oli's arguments, for however long I would have to. "I'll call," I sighed. "But if there's absolutely nothing wrong with me, other than the usual," I chuckled, "you're getting the beatdown." Oli laughed and shook his head.