mentor

5 ~ seaside hangs and private jets

It's been three days since your rather intense hook-up with Justin. You've texted and talked over the phone since then but he still hasn't made anything official and it seems like he was waiting for you to take the next step.  As rude as it might seem you also kind of enjoy it, it makes you sense a slight satisfaction of being in control. But on the other hand it leaves you feeling terrible and pressured to make a decision. Which never were one of your strengths.

You've been thinking about him and the whole situation a lot. It wasn't until the second you spotted him from the distance, Hailey next to your right while Kiley's on your left, that you started the process of actually making a decision. You are walking through the parking lot of the beach of Santa Monica, the sun is strong and bright, not a single cloud is to be found in the light blue sky and the distinct smell of sun screen lays in the air, which sends you back into your childhood.

Justin is joined by Ryan, who isn't a stranger to you. The saying-hello part goes more casual than you thought it would. After embracing Ryan tightly because you haven't seen him in way too long you turn and face Justin. With a sweet smile on his lips he goes into hugging you, letting go again he places a tiny kiss on your cheek, that's something friends do, right?

Hails and Kiley already made their way into the turquoise water as you decide to take off your clothes, underneat you're wearing a discreet black bikini. You feel a little weird stripping of your clothes in front of Ryan and Justin sitting on their huge towels in the sand. Knowing that it doesn't make a difference you turn around so your back is facing them but it makes you feel less weird in some kind of way. 

"Wow," Justin goes as you lean over to pick your shorts up from the ground. In surprise you turn back to in the direction. You took off your top before you got out of your shorts, so you're wearing nothing but a bikini now. "you look gorgeous." he adds impressed.

"So, are you telling me that I wasn't gorgeous when I was wearing clothes?" I joke with a sassy undertone in my voice. 

"You're always gorgeous but, you know, these parts of your body were covered most of the time, so I'm just complimenting you on the parts I don't get to see that often." His smile turns into a sensual smirk throughout the sentence.

You haven't really thought it through so you just grin through the awkward tension your sensing. "That's sweet, thank you." You sit down next to him, crossed legs you rest your hands behind you. While your finger tips dig into the soft sand you notice Justin, staring at you, almost admiring you. But it's not that he's in awe of your body, his eyes gaze at you in such a loving, marveling way, which drives you insane. 

A few hours later Kylie and you spend some time in the sea together. "Tell me Kailsey, what's up between you and Jus and don't you dare lie to me, I know there's something going on."

Even though she means well, her words still feel like a punch in the face. Trying to act off you're uncertainty you mumble:"Nothing, we're just really good friends, honestly."

"No, you're not and you know it. Sweety, you know I love you but you're such a bad liar, also something you know already." Kylie laughs because she knows  what she's talking about.

"No, really," You keep trying to prove your point. Unable to find a way to talk yourself out of this you decide to admit. "Ok, alright. I don't know, we hooked up recently and he kinda confessed his love to me but I don't wanna, like destroy our friendship. The thought of us, together, of course it's nice but I'm too scared of the consequences it may have, if that makes any sense, I don't know." Your is sort of weak now, losing yourself in thoughts you feel like dumbass. The more you talk about your fear of losing you realise how stupid it is. 

You don't put your thoughts into words but it seems like that isn't even necessary anymore. Kylie says exactly what you tell yourself right now. "You know, I get where you coming from, I absolutely do but honey when you enjoy the thought of being with him, when he makes you smile, when you enjoy the feeling of his lips on yours, why the hell not? Don't worry too much about what's gonna happen in the future, you want him now? Then go and get him, you feel me?"