What We Left Behind

Chapter XV: What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?

"What would you do if you weren't afraid?"

Ludivine had put this question forth to him the moment she had walked in, despite the guards' protests. She was a stubborn woman. The guard made a frustrated sound as he ran in after her and stood against the gate.

Erix just assumed that she knew everything about what had happened, probably everyone in the whole kingdom did by now. He could only imagine what Sorin must be doing now, sharpening his sword maybe.

Ludivine looked like she was going out of her mind with fury too; for the first time since he had met her, Erix saw a stormy expression on her face, a disgusted, determined scowl. He just looked at her miserably from where he was perched upon the bed.

"King Drystan made you the ruler for a reason, Erix," she gritted out. "He must've seen something in you that made him trust you enough to make you the successor of his grand kingdom. He gave you a chance."

Her glare made him shrink away. "And what are you doing with that chance?" She asked. "Murdering people? Murdering royal advisors, huh?"

"I didn't mean to," he mumbled, sure that it hadn't reached her.

"You didn't mean to?" Ludivine asked, then cackled like a witch. She could really hit the role off. "So what? Does anyone know that? Silas does. Does anyone believe that? No, they don't."

It seemed awfully like his mum was scolding him.
Like he was back home and he had gotten in a fight with his younger sibling and his mum was scolding him.

"Look, Erix, you can't become the king of Orabelle if you keep making mistakes like these," she said, her voice suddenly turning a little softer and gentler. "You have to be perfect, if you want to be the eternal ruler of Orabelle. Are you even prepared for the position?"

He doubted that too.

But he didn't want Ludivine-the only person who was trusting in him-to be disappointed in him.

"I'm trying," he said, sighing heavily. "And...everyone makes mistakes, you know. Please don't give up on me."

She stared at him with a long face and sadness in her eyes, for a long time.

"Learn from those mistakes, Erix," she said. "That's what you need to do. Don't just make the mistakes, try to amend them. Try to gain back the trust, if you...ever had it in the first place."

He just hung his head low and stared at his hands in his lap.

"Look," Ludivine walked forward. "I'm just telling you what is happening outside this chamber right now. The ministers are protesting, because Lain had a huge role in the working of the royal court. Now that he's dead, who's going to play that role? His family is being informed that he died from attack from an enemy, without there being a war going on. Prince Sorin is having an emergency assembly organized."

"But will no one focus on how he tried to kill me first?" Erix whined.

Ludivone held up a hand. "Shut up."

He blinked, like he had been hit in the face. But he shut up.

"A while later, all the fingers will point towards you," Ludivine continued. "And people will start demanding explanations regarding why it happens. People were already wary of King Drystan and thus they were not accepting King Erix," she raised an eyebrow with a knowing glance. "King Drystan had never had the best reputation and image, and that is why, since he has introduced your name to the kingdom and its people, they are kind of hesitant to put their trust in you. They have their doubts, reasonable doubts, and you have to prove yourself to them."

It sounded like a big responsibility.

Erix had always known that becoming the king and going through with this plan was never going to be easy, but it sounded like all these responsibilities and tasks would crush him.

"A rebellion is going to break out soon, Erix," she said, stepping back and crossing her arms. "At least try to survive it." She looked at him skeptically, as if she didn't really expect him to survive it, but was just saying this to encourage him or something.
"I should go now," she said.

All she had done was yell at him while he had listened like a little rodent cowering away from mother rodent.

And he just compared themselves to rodents. Him and Ludivine.

Erix was sure he was losing his mind. And anymore of this stress and anxiety and he would go back into the depression that Eric had gone in.

Ludivine pressed her lips together in a straight, displeased line. "And don't just sit there like a bloody fool," she snapped, making both Erix, and the guard at the door jump.

Erix quickly scrambled out of bed, but then stood there on the rug, barefeet, not knowing what he had to do now. Ludivine turned to leave.

"And yeah," she said, glancing back at him. "Whatever you said you would do if you weren't afraid," she raised an eyebrow. "Do it."

Then she left.