His Angel

Chapter 14

Three days had passed since Jack. I continued to do my job just as before. I needed the routine, the normalcy it brought. It made me feel...okay. The only difference was that Luca and I hadn't talk at all. I begged Betty to make breakfast in my stead so that I don't encounter him in the morning. However, today, I would have to do it. Betty was complaining of aches from her hands. I couldn't possibly be so selfish. I would hate for her to burn herself, adding more pain. Besides, I couldn't avoid him forever in his own home.

"Angel," Luca said surprisingly when he looked up from his newspaper. I served him his plate, thinking about retreating to my room and coming back later for the dishes. However, it was an easy way out, evading a problem which would determine me cowardly. It would not be a solution or an escape.

"Luca," I said, sounding more confident than it should be.

"I'm glad to see you," he spoke softly. I nodded my head for there was no right respond. "Join me please."

"Sure." I guess there was no backing down. I grabbed my own plate and sat down a chair away from him. It dismayed him, satisfying my purpose.

"Betty?" he asked.

"Still sleeping. She will wake soon like before."

"Right, like before. But it's not the same."

"No, but it is to be expected." I noticed his jaw clenched. Then, I thought, his face would become unreadable due to pass experience. However, determination was in its place. Perhaps, he was not as unaffected as he seemed to depict in the time he lacked to reach out. Maybe, it was wishful thinking in believing he wanted to respect my space and time to be left alone.

"I don't regret that you know. I'm glad that you are aware of the worst in me. I don't want to keep a secret from you."

"Because secrets hurt people?" I asked without thought.

"Now, where did you get that?" There was a lightness in his voice.

"It's a lesson I learned from a story."

"It must have been a great story," he said. It was slowly feeling like a normal conversation. If only he knew whose story I was referring.

"It was a sad one actually." I looked at him, pass the handsome façade, and I saw myself. That was why when I told him about my life story, there was no judgement or pity. There was a quite mutual understanding. So, I looked at him with the same sympathy.

"A tragedy?"

"I hope not," I spoke wishfully for the emotions it carried could not be contained.

"Strange," he said unemotionally but I could have sworn I traced a suspicion.

We continued to converse like two civilised people – just as before. To an outsider, it would appear as if we were close friends. However, this was an act of false politeness, treading carefully, avoiding the topics that would reveal something was amiss.

When we finished eating, Luca got up and headed straight for me. I immediately stood up, ready to bolt as instinct commanded. I knew what he was about to do and I'm unprepared. Luca stopped far enough but too close at the same time. I cringed when he reached his hand out, cradling my cheek. He was so gentle, it almost made me feel guilty for wanting to reject it. Then, he searched for my eyes but I evaded his every time. Finally, true to his temper, his other hand roughly took hold of my jaw. He exhaled through his nose, looking like a bull with his eyes on the target ready to attack.

"Look. Now," he demanded. The authority in his voice made it hard to rebel. So, I complied. "Tell me. What's bothering you the most?"

"I hate you," I said. It sounded truthful but left a bitter taste.

"That's what your head is telling you but what does your heart say?" I thought for sure he would have been angry, considered my answer incorrect. I was momentarily stunned with his strange question instead. In that time lapse, I noticed heavy breathing coming from my own lungs. It was due to fear but also something else I refused to acknowledge. Sometimes, chemistry could convince the body to betray itself.

"Tell me my Angel," he said with a knowing grin.

"I fear you more than ever," I spoke. He nodded his head in understanding. However, he was obvious in expressing his dislike of it.

"Ofcourse...why?" This made me pause. It would be the first time, I would have to analyse it. I knew it wasn't because of Jack.

"Because...despite knowing, witnessing the darkness in you...I could honestly learn not to. And that scares me like nothing else." I spoke the last word with a heavy intake of breath. I never knew, I could surprise myself like that. Luca in turn gave me a smile, a small one that managed to reach his eyes. It was wonderful, like seeing him catch a glimpse of hope. It wasn't cocky, sly, mischievous or boastful. It was almost childlike in its essence.

"Thank you my Angel," he said. Then, his lips was on mine as he embraced me in his arms. Our bodies were so tightly close together they could melt into one. I didn't return his kiss but I allowed myself to feel. I felt his soft lips, warm like fire. I felt the rough and controlled movement of his mouth. It was possessive in its nature, clinging on hard lest I get away. I felt the invasive dance of his tongue, as if probing for the purpose of conquest. A kiss of a conqueror, harden by battles fought in the shadows.