Depressed? Broken? Disappointed? Frustrated? That sums me up. You only love sometimes and that sometimes often fail. It hurts. It freakin hurts.
When Im alone I am hearing voices telling me that death is the only way to ease the pain I am experiencing. Death is the only thing that could give me freedom from the pain that I feel. Loneliness pushes me to the edge of giving up.
For 3days after the incident. I feel that my heart is being crushed slowly. The moment she told me about her wrong doings I feel like Im dying. The only thing that keeps me alive is the thought of us being together again.
She told me not to wait anymore. She told me to call off that 2weeks promise. I am disappointed. I lost all the hope I got. Im at the brink of breaking apart. I close to giving up. I do love her. But she doesnt feel the same towards me. It kills me inside.
I need to accept what happened and move on. I need to accept the fact the she fooled me. If I cant move on, then it would kill me slowly. It would change me. I need to find a way to forget her. To retain the sane me. The same person that everybody arounds me loved.
If I could forget her, I hope so, then I would be happy. Truly happy. I could forget the one I love that pains me. The one who traps me in the cage of pain and loneliness.
Gotta go. Ciao
