Not Happening

Chapter 17

Honestly, Zayn isn't eavesdropping. Really, he's not. He was just coming back to the room for a moment to grab a book he needed before he returned to the library, where he'd even left things on the table with the intention of returning. Only he goes to push open the door without knocking (he refuses to knock on the door to his own room, under any circumstance), and he hears the raised voices inside, and....

They're fighting. They're loud. He doesn't have to lean his head against the door to hear the distinct words they're saying. Which is why he doesn't feel that bad about it. If it was a conversation they were trying to keep private, they wouldn't be arguing so loud. (He still does feel guilty about it, though, but he can't seem to stop himself.)

"- it is!" The voice is female; it has to be Liam's girlfriend, even if he's never heard her talk in a voice that was anything but sweet and soft. "Just tell me who the hell it is!"

"It won't make a difference," Liam reasons. "Telling you who it was -"

"Was," she repeats, cutting him off. "You're using past tense, Liam, but we both know it isn't. God, I can see it right now on your face. Who the hell is she? An ex-girlfriend? Is that it? You still have feelings for her, don't you?"

"It's not an ex-girlfriend," Liam says lowly, and Zayn does have to lean in to hear it. But he pulls back immediately, wincing at his own actions. "I promise you, Sarah-"

"Don't lie to me, Liam," she snaps. "Just be honest with me for five seconds, that's all I'm asking of you!"

"It's complicated."

"Complicated," she repeats, and Zayn knows Liam's fucked up now. "People always say that, but it's not! Cheating isn't complicated! It's not something that just happens. It's not an accident, Liam! It's a bad choice. A mistake. A huge mistake, but it's not a fucking accident. It's not something uncontrollable. It's not that complicated to keep your body parts to yourself!"

"I know that," Liam insists. "That's why I told you. You deserved to know."

"What I deserve is a boyfriend that doesn't cheat on me, actually," she spits.

Zayn hears footsteps heading for the door, and he jumps back, eyes wide. Shit. He pulls the hood of his sweater over his head and starts walking in the opposite direction, head ducked just in case.

"And stay away from me!" he hears behind him, just before a door slams.

Zayn slowly walks down the hall. He can hear her going in the opposite direction, but when the footsteps are distant and no longer within hearing distance, he stops. Should he give Liam his space? Or should he go get his stuff? He really needs that book, he thinks, and maybe a part of him wants to make sure Liam's okay. Even if he's still pissed at Liam about yesterday. Even if he's done his best to avoid looking Liam in the eyes since all of that went down.

Zayn turns on the spot and heads back to the room. He pushes inside, only to find Liam sitting on Zayn's bed, head in his hands. He looks up when Zayn shuts the door softly behind himself, and his eyes are wet and red-rimmed.

"I, um, came to get my book," Zayn mumbles. "I can come back later, or-"

"No, it's fine." Liam gets off his bed. "I'm fine," he adds.

"I didn't ask," is out of his mouth before he can stop it. It's automatic, a reflexive response. He hates himself as soon as the words are out there, and Liam actually flinches at them, as if Zayn had slapped him.

"No, you didn't," Liam says, gruff, voice thick. "Why would you care, right?"

Zayn leans up to grab his book from the shelf, and then he stands there, just at the end of his bed, book hanging at his side. He wants to apologize, but then, at the same time, he doesn't. What he really wants, most of all, is to not care. Because if this had happened three months ago, he wouldn't. He wouldn't give a shit if he walked into the room to find Liam almost crying. He would have just walked back out without giving it a single thought. But now- now he wants to wrap his arms around Liam. Wants to rub Liam's back until he no longer look so broken and defeated.