Umbrella

Kiss the Rain

Im sitting at the edge of the window watching the rain poor down, just like my tears at night. The sensation I feel to just cry with it is strong, but I don't. Instead I grab my coffee cup tighter and step away from the window,closing it behind me. Today I have no intentions of doing anything except sleeping in all day possible. You haven't called me like you said you would yesterday. When you came last night I was so happy, but then his face showed up behind you. Inside I had the urge to kick him out, but I couldn't. We are friends too, friend's what a funny word. The only word you refer to me as. Friend's.

Sighing I place my still half empty cup on the counter and walk to my room. I look out the window again noticing once again the rain that is pouring down much harder now. The sky is dark, dark black clouds covering the bright sky. Is it trying to mock me? Pushing my hair back I slump myself onto the bed. As I close my eyes I feel happy that I will be able to sleep, but I knew it was to good to be true.

The memories come flashing back to me like an overflowing river. It may be just a simple heart break to many people but to me, to me it's death itself. Why does my heart ache so much?

"My boyfriend Jonghyun"

Like a bad dream those words keep repeating on my mind. Why can't he do something, anything, just give me a reason to hate him. Just one.

I tried hard, really hard to hate him, but I couldn't. I couldn't hate him. Why did you choose him?

Opening my eyes I get off my bed and look out the window again. The rain hitting the window hard, every drop is heard and echoed in this empty room. Resonating against the walls, making the peacefulness seem calmer yet it brings a shiver down my spine.

I hear a buzzing, noticing it was my phone I pick up the device and look at the caller. It's you. Letting the phone ring twice I finally pick up, trying to stay calm.

"Minho did I wake you?"

"No I was already up" I answer pressing my weight against the window.

"How come?" I hear him chuckle as he says those words teasingly.

"is there something you need?" I asked ignoring his question.

"hpmm actually I was wondering if we could hang out...? Jongie is busy today...." we could have done without the mention of his name kibum. Sighing I look out the window again, the rain seems to be getting even stronger, what is the need to go out right now..?

"I can't" I answer slowly.

"OH....ummm I guess I'll see you at college then..." I hate how your voice sounds so down and depressed, I hate how it's blaming me. I hate it. I hate how it tears through my heart and all I want to do is comply to you, but I can't. Answering with a nod and hum I end the call.

The words overflowing on my mind to call you back and ask you if we could still make plans. To apologize for lying, to take you anywhere were you want. Let me bring a smile on your face again, I don't want to be the cause of your sadness. But that just happened right now. I could hear it in your voice, the sadness.

Groping the phone on my hand I flip the screen and find your number. Debating whether to call you again or not, in the end I don't. Throwing the small phone on the bed, I look outside at the rain again. With heavy steps I walk to my closet, looking for my change of clothes. Grabbing simple black pants, a white sleeveless shirt and a jacket, I grab my house keys and step outside.

I've always disliked the rain, but that day that you appeared to me, with an umbrella, I couldn't help but love the rain. Now whenever it's raining, I just remember you, I hope, I yern that you will come to my rescue again. With your pink umbrella. All the time I would go out in the rain, like today, with no umbrella, just to let the rain kiss me. To kiss the rain. I would hope that you appeared of nowhere with your pink umbrella, but you never did.

Stepping away from the secure dryness of my home, I walked to the streets, with no intentions of going anywhere. The rain falls, pitta patting on the cemented streets, getting absorbed by my clothes, rolling down my head to my face. It hasn't even been a minute that I stepped outside and I'm already damp, but I don't mind.

My hands make their way to my pockets as my feet start to move, nowhere indicated. Even as the rain falls, cars still are streaming through the streets to get to their destination. No people are seen, and if they are, they are with umbrellas or covering themselves from the rain under some store hoods.

I can see that as I walk under the rain people are staring, I know what they are thinking, why is he not covering himself?

My hair and clothes are as damp as they can ever be, looking around in the rain I see my special place just some blocks away, our special place.

My feet start to move faster and my hands come out of their refugee to get to their place faster. As I reach my destination a loud thunder is heard, trying to look up the sky I smile. I stand next to the bench, not seated because that's not how I met you. I wasn't dry, I was wet just like today, waiting for the bus. Just that this time your not here with me, but I yearn for you to be.

I wait and wait, but you don't come. The bus had already come, but I wasn't waiting for the bus, I was waiting for you. Did I expect you to come? Maybe, just maybe you would. Couldn't you feel it inside, that I was waiting for you in the rain?

My gaze wonders around but I can't see any sign of a pink umbrella, my gaze lowers to the floor. Bitting my bottom lip I wonder where you are. The stinging in my eyes come back, tears start to fall free, mixing with the rain. Shoulders start to shake as I bite my bottom lip harder, thinking if I should leave.

I know it was me who blew of our plans, but can't you fell me calling for you? Yearning for your presence to come and save me. Why are you not here?

My lips part as I let out a huff of air. There's no need to wipe my tears because the rain has already washed them away and replaced them with new ones.

"Excuse me but, you look really wet...." I glance to the side to see who interrupted my thoughts of you, and looked back at the street, the rain making it somewhat blurry.

"ummm would you like under my umbrella?" I tense, those words, those words are the same words you said to me. Turning my eyes to the small boy next to me, it reminds me of you. Except his umbrella is black, and it's not you.

"No" I say to the boy as I walk away.

A/N: well my lovelies I hope you like this update >< I know I took like forever to update but that's because I'm thinking that I might end it here. So please comment and tell me what you think and fell.