The Complete Confession of Jane Doe

I'm sorry

This is a really important part of my life because of how I could have pontentially changed it, and I feel guilty about it to this day.

When I was about ten I went over to my friends house for a sleep over. Lets call her Mary, and my other friend will be Sally.

We all went to different schools, so we hadn't seen eachother in a while. We watched movies and stayed up late talking about whatever ten year old drama we had, then the conversation kind of disapears and we're just sitting there awkwardly. Mary decides its time to tell us something, she cuts.

She showed us her legs and they were covered in little scabby lines, she said, "It hurts, but eventually you get addicted to the pain and you can't stop."

Because I was ten, and totally unaware of how serious it was, I didn't say anything, but now I want to tell Mary that I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I was too young to realize that you were hurting yourself in a serious way. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you to stop doing it, that it was ok. I'm really sorry that even later, when we were older and you started doing worse things, things that I knew were bad, that I didn't say anything against. I will always blame myself for anything that happens because I was to young and stupid to know what you were doing.

But I'm also sorry that you couldn't pull yourself together, that you didn't realize how bad things have gotten. I'm sorry that you can't realize the consequences of what you've done to yourself.

I haven't spoken to Mary, or Sally, for about six months, and I don't know if we ever will again. My biggest fear in that the next time I see her will be her funeral.

She changed me for the better, in a way. I'm kind of overcompensating for not doing anything to stop her, so now whenever my friendds start talking about their mental state, or if their ok or not, I'm all ears, because I'm scared that I might lose another friend.