The life of a beard

Chapter One - THE FIRST DAY OF A BEARD

Didn't your father ever tell you that you should grow a beard, well I'm sure he did. If he didn't then he is gay. Beards are so amazing, I love them and I want everyone on the planet to have one. If they don't they don't deserve to live. Last night I felt my beard grow, I can feel it on my amazing face. You need to see the growing beard that can make people's day feel good, I want to see people stroking beards. You can get all types of beards, ginger, blonde, which by the way is my favourite colour. You can get all types of different style too, the pointy one, the bushy one, the one that everyone stares at because it's so big that it catches food and everyone laughs.

Food that can be stashed in beards range from eggs, milk to pizza and chocolate. The beard can hide foods for interviews, PT sessions and even religious pray times. Beards need to be worshiped and groomed. Grooming is an amazing thing to do if you want a spiffing beard that makes people think your sexy. Beards can also match your armpit hair, armpit hair can range from bushy to no underarm hair if the person is an idiot. People need to think about what life is about before cutting underarm hair, if they do then they dont deserve to live. They need to be took out to a special place with special chambers........