I was walking my baby boy in the cool summer breeze in park nearby our house. He was a year old so he was peacefully asleep in pram not bothered by the chilly weather. Almost every evening I am taking Logan for a walk in this park and today was no exception. Since Logan was born, I've started to walk in this park so I knew everyone here. There was an old couple sitting on a bench looking at each other with eyes full of love. There were 5 little kids running, playing and having time of their lives. Nearby there were children's parents who were talking to each other and checking on their children with corners of their eyes. There was a yard-keeper who was cleaning this park very tidy. Everyone knew and loved him though no one knew anything about his past life. All we knew was that his wife was dead and he had no children so he was helping other people's kids to have proper fun in a clean park.
Suddenly I saw a man in his middle ages sitting on an empty bench. Probably he was my age, maybe year or two older. He was smoking a cigarette. I couldn't really see his face properly since he was wearing a hoodie. I've never seen this man here and trust me I have been here for a long time. I don't know why but suddenly I felt an urge to go and talk to him. I rolled Logan's pram near him and sat on bench next to him.
-Hello - I smiled
He jumped slightly on his place. I guess he didn't notice me while I sat next to him. He looked up at me confused.
-H...Hello - he answered his voice shaking a bit.
-Mind if I ask you why I have never seen you here before? - I asked not wanting to sound rude.
-Oh...uh...I don't know. Maybe because I don't come here much? - He answered calmly.
-Oh... so why now? - I couldn't help but ask questions. I was curious, so damn curious.
-Well... - he started but I cut him off.
-I'm...I'm really sorry; you probably think I'm crazy coming from nowhere asking so many questions... I think... I better leave... - and suddenly I felt really ashamed. I was a stranger to him who just came out of blue and attacked him with questions.
-Oh no no no. Please stay... I feel like I need to talk to someone and I'm glad that you started a conversation. - He smiled and suddenly my breath was taken away. His smile was so genuine. Almost like... no it can't be.
-Oh okay, thank you. So do you want to talk about why you've decided to come out here today? - I smiled back.
-Yeah but it's kinda long story, don't want to bother you. - I could tell he wanted to say something but he was too scared to tell. He needed encouragement. He needed someone who would hear him out and I decided that I wanted to be that person.
-It's okay, I've got plenty of time, besides, my baby's already sleeping so I have nothing else to do but listen to your story. - I smiled
-You sure? I mean I don't really want to be the person who bugs other peop...
-Absolutely - I cut him off.
-Okay - he took a deep breath and started. - When I was in high school, there was this one girl. She was a year younger than me. She loved me. Four years... four years she was trying to do anything just to impress me. I could tell by the sparks in her eyes while looking at me that for her, I was the one. I was the guy who she really needed, loved. I could feel how she was staring at me during breaks in hall and when I looked at her, she used to smile and look away as she wasn't staring at all. I was trying to do my best for that moment. I was greeting her with a big smile on my face but I knew she wanted way more than just a warm greeting. Every morning, she used to take the bus when she was leaving 2 minutes away from school just to spend time with me even though I was sitting alone and looking in the window all the time. You know, she loved to write poems, poems about me. But I was stupid. I couldn't give her what she deserved. She was not like others. She was different. Yeah she didn't have a hot body or perfect appearance but her personality was different. You may ask how I know her personality. Well guess what? I do, and I do it pretty well. We used to talk all the time. Well actually she was making an effort. She was the one who started all the conversations and me? Well I was just trying to make her see that I couldn't give what she deserved. I wanted her to see that I was not the person she thought I was. I was worse, way worse but she didn't care. She loved me unconditionally. It's just, she was young and she was making mistakes. She was always telling me that I was inattentive, that I didn't care but at that time I couldn't. I just couldn't care about her. But at the same time she was right. But I was also young. Girls were all over me and what could I do? I was having fun. I knew what she was going through and I was feeling bad. I didn't love her; in fact I didn't even like her more than a friend. But then again I couldn't even be her friend. Not since everyone knew about her feeling towards me. Everyone knew that she loved me and they were making fun of her so how could I? What would my friends say if they found out that I was even talking to her? She left the school in 11th grade and everything was over. I forgot about her because I had lots of different girls but the thing was it didn't feel right. When I graduated, she wrote me. God! How I remember her words. She told me that no matter what, she would name her son after me. But after that letter I forgot about her again until I found her very first letter for me. In that letter she was letting her heart out; she was telling me that she loved me. Since finding the letter, I just can't stop thinking about her. Right now, after all these years, I realize that she was my everything. She was the one I loved.
Suddenly he was cut off by Logan's whimper. Both our eyes landed on him but he suddenly stopped so I guess he was deeply asleep.
-What's his name? - He asked me.
-Logan - I told him not talking my eyes off of my baby boy.
He froze. He was staring at me, not moving. He stood up and said one word that changed my mood completely.
-Hailey? - He asked and that was the moment when my memories of high school came back to me. All the tears, sadness, bullying, admiring him, not sleeping at night just to talk to him, puffy and red eyes, my scars, my blades, my razors, my past, Logan.
-You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you Hailey, I... I don't even know what to say, I'm so glad that finally find you...
I looked at him and stopped him by pressing my finger to his lips. I looked in his deep dark eyes once more, took Logan's pram and left the park without looking back...
