I might talk a big game
But i struggle
As much as i know about people
There's so much i haven't yet understood
There's so much I'm afraid of
Some people don't learn about others
They just talk
I've been more of a listener my whole life
So when it's my time to talk i don't know what to say
Being a listener involves a fair amount of seldom observing
So when another comes to you seeking friendship
You wonder why
Then you lose this friend
Your heart breaks
Cause you've never really let him in
To meet the real you
You've been hiding in a playful and yet rigid outer layer
Sending occasional glimpses of your true self
Again you meet another one
And then another
And you have a friendship that calms your anxious little tornado in your stomach
Your friendship with these people steadies you
You live in the calm seas of others making
Then the storm of another rocks you back to reality
Another one comes along
But this one doesn't seek friendship
It seeks more
This scares you
Awakens the storm inside
Shakes your fragile little boat unaware of the chaos it's causing
My friends tell me this isn't a storm i can pass
This i can't tread with a puppy's obsessed gaze or a fly's fear of the incoming
I have to hit this head on
My first hurricane coming to shake me
Or maybe I'm clay and it's a artisan coming to form me
I'm far too afraid to find out
I don't want to find out
But i will
And whether or not i can survive the storm is anyone's guess
