Little Roof Jumpers

Chapter 26 Catty Cocaine & The One Eyed Man

Willy and I moved from my grandparents to a government-subsidized duplex. It was new and clean with two bedrooms. Our furniture was stored in a friend's garage; Willy and his childhood friend Morty got into a fist, fight and Morty took a baseball bat to my vanity my grandmother had given me. I was heart broken.

"Why did you ruin my vanity and not something of Willy's? I asked Morty. It was the first thing that would make a crash with that big mirror, Morty said. It's the only piece of furniture that meant something to me, I have had it since I was a little girl."

Still pregnant with Penelope and all I can think of is how am I going to get away from all of these idiots before something awful happens to the kids or myself. Sooner or later Willy was going to kill me. What will happen to the children!

Contractions started two days before my birthday. Willy didn't come home until late. Without a phone I couldn't call anyone. I hoped I could hold things off until he did. Willy showed up later that evening drunk and went straight to bed. I tried to tell him I needed to go to the hospital but he fell asleep.

At midnight I began walking the floor. I had my suitcase packed and my keys. I was ready in case I needed to go to the hospital myself. Finally at seven I was able to get Willy up. Brooks had been up since six and already had breakfast. We were ready to leave. We took Brooks to my mother, She wasn't happy about it. Willy's sister would watch Brooks while I was in the hospital, but she was a late sleeper so we talked my mom into watching Brooks until eleven when Mindy would be up and ready to take care of him.

Leaving Brooks was hard for me. He was a mama's boy and not used to staying all night with anyone. After we left Brooks with my mom we went to the hospital where Willy left me as soon as they gave me a room. Willy did the same thing to me when Brooks was born. He got me a room and then left. The nurses sent a student nurse to sit with me. She was really nice but I didn't know what to say to her. Sorry nobody cares about me so I am here to do this by myself.

So I lay there with contractions that felt like they were ripping my guts out and not saying a word. The nurse asked me several times are you sure your ok? I just nodded and concentrated on breathing through the pain, I didn't have any pain medicine or epidermal with this delivery and Brooks birth was natural as well. Putting drugs in my system was not an option as far as I was concerned. I had seen enough drug idiots. My babies would be pure.

"The only way I can tell you are feeling the big contractions is when you are squeezing my hand, "the student nurse said". " I know it hurts you can scream or make noise. I don't care."

I never said a word to her. I was just so embarrassed I felt like a homeless person. Again right before I was ready to push, Willy showed up. I was pretty sure he was high. He didn't stay long. He said he had to go to work. Penelope was born at eleven thirty one in the morning and Willy was gone before noon and he didn't have to work until four. Who knows what he did, I didn't care, and Penelope was perfect, seven pounds five ounces. She was my beautiful baby girl.

Forty eight hours after Penelope was born my mother came to the hospital to take us home. Willy didn't have to work until four but I never considered asking him to pick us up. Strange when you think about it, I didn't trust my husband to pick our baby and me up from the hospital. My mother took us to my grandparent's house. What I wanted to do was pick up Brooks. My mother said we had to wait until my father got off work then they would take me home.

It was like I was a kid and I had to ask to go somewhere, my parents still wanted to control me when I was at their home. Am I ever going to be able to make my own decisions and live my own life?