Slowly Fading (A Harry Styles Fan Fiction)

Chapter Three~

Harry's Pov

I woke up to an empty spot beside me and the sound of music playing from a distance. I got up out of the bed and walked into the kitchen where Ariel was dancing around to the radio making breakfast.

"Well good morning." I smirked at her.

"Good morning" She laughed.

"Hold on a second..........is that my sweat shirt your wearing?" I asked her.

"Mhmmm" she mumbled turning around, she looked me up and down stopping at my wrists. Her eye brows furrowed.

"Harry, what are those?" I was confused. What did she mean.

"Let me see your wrists." She said, in a concerned tone.

My eye's widened. Shit, why didn't I put on a sweat shirt or something.

She took one of my hands genitally, examining it carefully.

"Why?" she asked. Her expression looking sad.

I just shook my head, what was I suppose to say? I've been depressed for the past three years and I've been cutting myself for the last year and a half. she's going to think I've gone absolutely mad.

"Harry, please." She said.

Tears began to form in my eye's. fuck no, don't cry in front of her Harry, she's going to think you're a pussy. Stop.

"I-I'm sorry." I sputtered out, my emotions getting the best of me. My tears falling.

"Why are you sorry. Harry you did nothing wrong." She brought her hand up to my left cheek wiping away some of the tears that had fallen.

"Please tell me.............I'm here to listen."

She took hold of my hand and lead me over to the couch. I feel like such a pussy for crying in front of her. Now she's going to think I'm weak.

"Whats going on Haz, I'm really worried."

"There's a lot going on. Its sort of hard to explain. Its also a very long story." I told her wiping my face of my tears.

"I've got all the time in the world. As long as your comfortable explaining." She told me looking into my eye's sadly.

"Alright." I took a deep breath.

"It all started when I was 15. I had to listen to my mum and dad screaming at each other, and my mums cries of pain. My father would beat her all the time." I paused, as the memories flooded back. My eye's filled with tears again. She gabbed hold of my hand once again, giving it a squeeze.

"One night, he came home extremely drunk and full of rage. My younger sister came into my room in tears. She didn't know what to do, she was terrified of the horrid noises coming from down the stairs. It was the worst it had ever been and it was starting to worry me even more. Soon the house was filled with silence and the sound of a door slamming. I went down stairs after I was sure he had left to make sure my mum was okay, but what I saw when I got to living room was something I could never un-see. My mum was lying there motionless. I rushed to her side looking for a heart beat, but when I couldn't feel her breathing anymore. I broke down I scrambled to call the police and when they got her to the hospital she was pronounced dead. That was the last time I ever saw my father either. I guess that's a good thing though.........I'f I saw him now I would beat the shit out of him, something I couldn't do back then. So both me and my sister were sent to live with my aunt in Cheshire where I guess you could say everything was pretty good. Until I went to school, I didn't have any friends and people would constantly push me around and be cruel. I never really took that to heart though. A year later a met this girl.........Her name was Cassandra, and I fell in love with her. She was a total sweet heart to me and I loved her with all my heart. After a few months of us going out I found out she had cheated on me with my best and only friend. I was heart broken, she was literally everything to me.That was when my depression first started out. After that I promised myself I would never fall for anyone ever again. I just never wanted to feel like that again. That's when I started to get into drugs and alcohol. I just wanted to make that pain go away, because every time I saw myself in the mirror I saw this worthless person. I still see that same guy today. I don't believe I'm god enough for anyone. I don't believe that anyone will ever love me for me. Its all just for the fame and money. I hate myself and All's I've ever wanted was to just die. It sounds stupid I know, but that's how I've alway's felt. My sister began to beg me to try out for the X-factor. When I made it I felt so happy, the first time I had felt happy in months. You know the rest of that story though. Once we had become bigger and more famous the more intense it got and the more hate I got. I never use to think that, that would get to me but it did. On top of all the bad publicity, people everywhere believing I'm a man whore and a womanizer. Yeah, I made some mistakes, bad hook ups, drunken one night stands, but I treat girls the way they should be, because I never want to end up the way my father did. People to this day still say that fame has gotten to my head, and I treat everyone like shit, but that's just the media. They only see what they want to see, I'm probably the most caring person you will ever know, because I never want anyone to feel the same way I do, because I know that pain, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Just a few weeks ago I found out my 16 year old sister is really sick and they can't figure out whats wrong with her. so now you know why I cut and why I'm depressed and why I'm so stressed and why I just want to die so badly. Its all because I'll never be good enough for anyone. I'm a failure........To myself, my sister. my mum, my fans, the boys and you." I sobbed. I looked up at her. She had tears rushing down her Rosy cheeks.

"Oh my god.........Harry, that horrible. I'm so sorry I never knew any of that. I just can't believe that that's how you feel. I don't want you to feel like that, your're such an amazing person. You helped me when I was going through some hard times. You're seriously so perfect to me. You're definitely not a failure to any of those people. Especially not to me. I love you so much Harry, I don't ever want you to feel like this." She was sobbing along with me at this point. I brought her closer to me keeping her in my arms. She hugged me tightly leaning her head on my chest.

"Please don't hurt yourself anymore. It hurts me to see that. I honestly love you harry." She said, truth appearing in her voice.

"If you were gone I don't know what I'd do." she added.

She sat up, looking me straight in the eye's even though, both our eye's were brimmed with tears. She cupped my cheek with her shaky hand, and leaned in closer and closer until our lips met.

Suddenly everything I was feeling at that moment went away, except for the butterfly's that had newly erupted in my stomach.

We both parted, a small smile was beamed on both our faces.

"I seriously love you Harry. I mean it. I never want you to hurt yourself. When I saw them on your wrist my heart broken into a million tiny little pieces. Please think about me before you ever think of doing something like that again. Know that I love you. Even though I know you'll never love me back, I just want you to be okay." She stated, her eye's became watery again. Where did she get the idea I didn't love her back? Didn't I just kiss her back? Did she not feel how fast my heart was beating?

"But.........I do love you back." I told her as I watched more tears form in her eye's, but there was a smile on her face.

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Author's Note~

Whoa man intense chapter.

Okay so yeah um

I have homework that I should be doing

So um...............bye