Sentimental Chances

Chapter 46: Made A Hard Decision

Yup, I didn't tell him. Was it because I wanted to avoid what could've happened if I'd confessed that my feelings for him were mutual?

No.

What I said to him was the truth. Roy has a special place in my heart, and I will miss him.

Admittedly, there was that feeling of loss all over again. But no matter how alike they are, inside and out—no matter how things might have turned out if I'd told Roy I felt the same way—it still wouldn't come close to how deeply I love Topher.

Topher will always be my one and only.

Plus, it wouldn't be fair for Roy to have feelings for him just because he looked so much like Topher.

I wonder if fate meant good intentions to introduce him into my life to help me heal, or give me a second chance at a sentimental experience through Roy.

Anyway, I don't even know how long I stayed there, staring at the tracks like they were supposed to give him back.

Eventually, I found my bearings and stepped out of the train station to meet Roldan, who was waiting to take me back to the inn.

The traffic on the way was barely moving, and I sat there in silence, staring blankly at the car in front while Roldan inched the van forward every few minutes.

"Are you alright?" Roldan asked.

"Yeah... I will be," I said with a sigh.

"Don't be too sad. It's not good for the baby."

"Don't worry, I'm fine. I'll be even finer if we stop by a McDonald's drive-thru."

Roldan laughed. "Sure."

When we got back to the inn, I went inside and headed up to the second floor. But when I reached my room, I looked at the door across from mine and tried to get used to the fact that he was gone.

He left.

It felt like yesterday when we first met, and I was still stunned by his face.

But I had to admit it was for the best that he left, especially now that I knew how he felt about me.

The whole day felt like I had just closed the last chapter of a book or finished binge-watching a series, only to be left staring at the hollow space it left behind.

When I got inside, I set the McDonald's bags on the study table and changed into something softer, something that felt more like me.

As I sat down and started eating, I messaged my friends that Roy had left. Sad emojis flooded in from all of them, one after another, like tiny little condolences.

I set my phone down when more messages came in, needing a few quiet minutes to keep eating in peace.

But then Emmy sent me a private message, asking if I wanted to hang out later for dinner at La Geole. At first, I wanted to say no. I really did. But after thinking it over for a while, I said yes and agreed to see her.

Maybe I did need a friend beside me that day.

Later that evening, we went to the cafe and sat outside because the night was lovely. It was quiet, not too cold, the kind of evening that almost made everything feel softer than it was.

After ordering our food, we finally started talking.

"You okay?" she asked.

"I promise you right now, I can move on from this," I told her.

"Sorry. I know you're tired of hearing that question."

"It's okay. I would've done the same."

"So how was today? Was it painful?" Emmy asked.