It's Alway's Been You

Chapter 4

RECAP: A letter arrived addressed to Sarah...

Her heart sunk. A suitor? Why was this happening? Sarah's hands shakily placed her mother's letter back on her desk. She felt more and more sick each time she read it. She had written to her mother times before of her feelings for James and her mother would reply with argument after argument of how he was not suitable for her at all. Sarah ignored her obviously, but now what was she to do?

'How am I suppose to get rid of this suitor, tell my mother I will not marry anyone she chooses for me, marry someone not British, AND have it not ruin my family's reputation. I have no idea how to deal with this difficult situation.'Sarah thought.

Things were already about to get hectic now that she was the only reporter for the Gazette. It was her job to find hard hitting stories for the readers who deserved true coverage of the happenings of the war, and she took that job very seriously. A big part of her hoped she would see James during her reporting endeavors. It had only been a week since his departure, but it felt so much longer. She was used to seeing him all day every day and now the print shop felt quiet and empty without his presence. She wondered how he was and how he was coping with war's cruelties. She took comfort in knowing how knowledgeable they both had become from being journalists. She also took comfort in knowing how quick he was on his feet. At the same time though, he had a habit of getting into trouble. She couldn't think of that. She could only think of him being ok and safe even though she knew that was a lie. Her mind drifted back to the suitor. How her mother thought him to be a perfect match for her. She would be meeting him in only a fortnight and that thought made her shudder. Just the thought of being with someone other than James made her feel ill. It was very important she tell the man that pursuing her would be a waste of his time as her heart already belonged to someone else. Hopefully he would understand and be a gentleman about the whole scenario. Hopefully he would not assume she was in love with a patriot rebel (even though she was), and hopefully he would not question her loyalties and return to England spouting things about the Phillips family now being traitors. She did not want to think about what that might mean for her and her mother. She was so confused. Should she lie to this man on why she did not want him to court her? or maybe that would only raise suspicions in him. What if he found out she lied? He could find out that she loved an American soldier, then there would be no question in her and her mother being traitors, and then they would be punished for their crimes. At one point in her life she had actually felt happy at the thought of courting someone, but not now. She wanted to go on adventures and be a journalist. Most men would not allow her to do that. They would control her and she would have no freedom. But not James. James loved writing with her and even admitted she was the better writer once or twice, very reluctantly, but still sincere. He would be disgusted at the thought of her sitting at home doing nothing but catering to her husband's needs, even if that husband was him. He was definitely not a proper English gentleman. He was so much better, though his manners did still need work.

A/N: Yup. It is a ramble. I am sorry. I do try though. Let me know if you like where it is headed.