After being clean for months and being able to go back to her normal life. She's finally happy again and not faking smiles. Truly happy with her new life, trying things she thought she'd never try and meeting new people. Everything's perfect for her, she's finally free and loving it. Then one bday she hangs out with her friends and they don't know about her addiction problem because she didn't want them to worry. They bring drugs and guess what kind they bring...yep you guessed it, its what she's been avoiding for months . She thinks she is strong enough to deal with it being so close, but alas she's not and gets sucked right back into it. It feels good at first, bringing back familiar feelings invades her mind and clouds her judgement. The things she does while she's high are crazy, saying things she'd never say to anyone not even her best friend. Then the party is over and she wakes up and it hits her HARD that she went right back to the thing she said she'd never would do again. Crying is the only thing that she can do because she doesn't have no one to talk to. Music pops up.. Yeah music should help. Music has always helped through the tough times. The song hold me by jenne and the mixtape comes on and the tears just start flowing. Eventually she runs out of tears and go completely numb, her happiness evaporated , just a lifeless corpse awaiting to be put in the casket. Done with the world ,done with being unloved, and just done existing. Finally they have won and took everything she's had. The demons inside completely took control of her mind, she let them because she's to weak to put up a fight anymore. Laying down letting the darkness take over finally giving in so with hot black tears streaming down her massacra stained face she's back where she finds herself every night. Looking at her broken reflection, never ever thinking that this would be how your life ended. Sad,broken alone,torn,scarred, and unwanted, No one cares about her and her miserable life. The boy she loves hates her with every fiber of his being, she realizes that she'll never have him as a friend and definitely not as a boyfriend that cuts deeper than any razor she lets graze your wrist. The friends she has aren't there for her because she was scared if she told them that they would judge and hate her as well. So she kept it a secret to protect herself and also to protect them from the pain of being friends with a screw up. All her former relationships she was the one that made all the wrong decisions and caused her own heartbreaks. Every bad thing ever done comes rushing to her mind and it hits her like a sack of bricks she is chaos. Every thing and every person she has come in contact with ended up destroyed weather its their life or something that she love'd. So coming to this conclusion she knows life would be better without her so she opens up the medicine cabinet grab the aspirin and open the bottle she pours out as many pills that can fit in her hands. She puts them all in her mouth swallowing all of them but death isn't coming fast enough so she grabs the razor and starts cutting deep gashes into her wrist. She's now engulfed in darkness fading quickly loosing lots of blood and her last words are "I love you.". Her eyes shutting for the last time.
