Life is Touch and Go

|Life|

The choice:

Today is Saturday of the twenty third week in ordinary time. 5:30 afternoon. wearing my favorite Green shirt, a good pair of shoes with my black bag, still thinking of what Dad tells me last night. I know its really hard, Because I use to think of my girlfriend feelings. She will got hurt, I love my Girlfriend, I love her so much. I murmured while heading a park.I wanted to tell her the truth, But how? What should I do?. Now I'm sitting on a grass throwing some stone on a creek. Its really hard. I don't want to break up with her because I know I will got hurt too. I had only one week, I'm going to submit the requirement needed for seminaries priest. I feel guilty of myself. I think that I'm too unfair. "but my heart speaks" You'll be unfair Only if you didn't tell her the truth."I keep throwing stones till I get tired. I lay on a grass, my mind is thinking what to do. I decided to go home, Because I can't decide by myself and I want to talk to my Dad again. There's still doubt on my heart. Feeling that I'm not ready, I'm afraid. I'm I having right decision? There's a lot of question on me. I used to squeeze my face seeing myself on trouble. I headed home, my mind is totally blank. My mind and my heart are arguing.

I reached home at 7:00 o'clock of the evening. Our dinner is already served by my mom. We eat together, but I'm not hungry. I don't want to eat. But my mom asked me to join the dinner, she will be mad when I didn't eat dinner, then I joined on the table.. We pray together before eating. My Dad lead a prayer. Dear Lord, we close our eyes together. Thank you so much for the blessing you gave us, protecting us,lightning us, guiding us and everything we have now is because of you. Thank you so much, Please do protect those people who trusted you, especially those people who got lost hope in their heart, lights their ways onto you. Amen. I just get a little amount of pasta. We eat in silence. Then my mom speaks, John hows your day? You look sad? something Bothering you my mom ask me. Mom, im okay. I said shortly. My Dad is looking at me too. Are you sure John? My Dad is on second voice. "Dad, I talk calmly, I'm sorry, I started. Dad, I'm having trouble today about things we talk last night. I am close to my Dad everything happened to me I use to tell him. Dad, I don't want to break up with my girlfriend you know how much I love her. My Dad is eating. he gave me a gaze. "John, I'm not forcing you to be a Priest. I'm giving you my support, because you said you wanted to be. Now, if you don't want to be a priest, you can decide. Let me tell you this things my son. He said his eyes meet my mine He is serious now. His eyes talking to me. "John you said you wanted to be a priest, Are you rendering it? then if it is, nothing I can do. "Do you remember these?" I trust you, lord. I trust your plan. I trust your goodness. I trust what you can see and i can't. I trust you with my life, my hopes, my dreams, and my disappointments. You putting every question mark on your thought? My eyes fall down from what my Dad says.. I feel guilt on it. John, you will decide for your own. No matter what. Me and your mom will be here for you any time. I know those things, I did hug my Dad. Thank you Dad. I said shortly to him. He use to tap me on my shoulder and continue eating. At least from that i can feel that i'm not alone, i'm so thankful with my parents, they support me all the times.I can sleep this time, and i finally made my decision, no doubt, and no hesitation. Thank you Lord for giving my parents to me, having them is so much a blessing to me, nothing I would ask for, my tears come out because I know now what would I choose.

The morning comes,

Mom, I said, I'm going to my Girlfriend today, I will tell to her, about my decision I made. Mom, hug me. I know John..I am so proud of you. I know isn't easy for you to do this. Lord will guide you more than you know. Put everything on him. Go ahead John. She blessed me. And I headed to Sophia house.

"After 30 mins of traveled, I reach my girlfriend house. I always wear some simple cloths that makes me comfortable like I'm wearing today a plain blue polo shirt and a simple jeans. I knock the door, Sophia Dad open the door. "Hi Sir, good morning i greeted Sophia Dad and I blessed to him. "O John good morning. Have date today with my daughter. He smile. Wait for a minute here okay. He said."His Dad is nice to me. Did you take a breakfast? Yes sir, Already thank you. I'm here to talk to you and to Sophia, I said directly to him. Talk to me? He asked. Yes sir. You know already sir that im taking my seminarist as priest. Yes I know that. Sir, forgive me. I vow my head to him. I'm sorry sir. Really sorry. I love your daughter. I love her so much. My eyes meet his. John what are you talking? Your a good person I know. That's why I trusted you of my daughter. What do you mean your breaking up with her? John keep staring on Sophia's Dad, his eyes traveling on Sofia Dad face trying to figure out what first he would say, He is searching the right word to start the conversation to him. Sir, his voice is too lower as his tune as begging of forgiveness and cracking words comes out from him. I'm choosing my faith over Sophia. I shortly said. I read His eyes that he understand me. But his reaction is really upset. Sophia will get hurt. I-I know sir.. my voice is lowering and become broken. That's why I talk to you first. When I leave this house please take care of her. Thank you so much for everything. Sir not only Sophia's name is on my heart. Even you sir is printed in my heart because you've been nice to me all year round. He didn't talk for more. I know what he mean. I know he was upset to me too. Because of what im choosing. Forgive me Sir. I never lied to your daughter.