No Place Like Home

Chapter 10

Ally's POV
I'm sitting on the couch in the dark wearing Austin's clothes: his Boynado tee and grey sweatpants. I hear the stairs creak as he comes down them.
"Did you get Kins back to sleep?" I ask him as he plops down beside me.
"Yea, I rocked her a little bit and she was out before you could miss me." He says chuckling.
"Well, that's not true. I certainly did miss you." I say, whispering in his ear.
"Oh, did you now?" He asks teasingly, now leaning over me.
"I sure did Moon."
Austin leans on over and presses me against the couch while his lips crash onto mine.
I release for air and look up into his eyes, "Happy Valentines baby."
"I love you Alls."
I pull him back onto my lips, but my bliss soon turns into fear.
I open my eyes, and Austin's gone. I'm sitting in the car with Trish at the redlight. As soon as I look to the right, I see the headlights, and then we're hit by the semi. I'm flung from the car and land in the tour bus bed.
That's when the pain starts again. "No! Please, I don't want to lose my baby! Please! No!"

I jump awake, startled by the nightmare. I look around and realize where I am. Austin's holding me in the window seat as he sleeps; his hair's a hot mess, and his face is puffy. Wait. I look down and notice I'm wearing my house robe. It wasn't a nightmare...it was real. I really did lose our baby last night. I breakdown remembering what happened. Why? Why did I let this happen?
Austin begins to wake up as my sobs shake his body.
"Oh sweetie." I hear him say as he wraps his arms around me.
"I'm....so sorry....Austin." I try to mumble between tears.
I hear Austin's voice choke as he tries to speak, "It wasn't your fault. You heard what....what Dr. Phillip said. There's nothing we could've done to stop it."
"I should've known something was wrong." I cry, wiping my eyes and looking up at Austin.
He looks so worn and tears are running down his cheeks. He hugs me tighter and buries his face in my shoulder.
"Ally..." He whispers into my hair, "I shouldn't have done this to you."
"What are you talking about?"
"It's my fault you're going through so much pain." He says.
I pull back and look at him, placing my palm against his wet cheek.
"You didn't do anything Austin."
"Yes I did. I got you pregnant again. I'm so sorry..." He says, looking sincerely guilty.
"Oh darling...how can you say that? Please don't ever say that. Me getting pregnant again isn'anything to feel guilty over. Our second baby was a blessing while they were here. Don't blame yourself Austin. It's not your fault....or mine." I cry, realizing that blaming ourselves for the miscarriage was only going to cause more pain.
Austin rests his head against the window and nods. I stand up and tighten the rope on my robe.
I place my hand on my abdomen as a tears falls. "I feel so empty Austin." I say, dropping down on the floor and placing my head in my hands.

Austin's POV
After Ally collapsed, I sat on the floor and held her while she cried. It had been a couple of hours, and we had moved to Trish's bunk, since Ally didn't want to go back into our room right now. The memory was still too fresh. I know she was trying to be strong for me, but she was hurting really bad.
I brushed through her hair with my fingers as she laid on my chest, staring out the window across from us.
"Alls? Are you hungry?" I ask. It's three in the afternoon, and she hasn't eaten anything since she woke up.
"No." Is all she says.
"You need to eat."
"I'm not hungry."
"Ally, sweetie, you haven't eaten all day. What if I cook a box of macaroni, will you try to eat just a little bit, for me?"
She pauses for a moment, considering my offer, and then she nods her head 'yes.'

About fifteen minutes later, I take a bowl full of cheesy macaroni back to Ally. She's sitting on the bunk cross-legged fiddling with the edge of the comforter. I sit down beside her and hand her the bowl. She sits it in her lap and looks back down at the comforter.
"Austin?" She quietly asks.
"Yea?" I ask.
"What happened to the sheets and blankets that were on our bed?"
I put my hands together, surprised at her question. "Well, I saved the top covers before they became stained, and I think Trish or Eric threw the others away."
"Oh." She says, "What about my clothes I was wearing?"
"I don't know what Trish did with those after we got you out of them... It all became a blur after some point. I can't remember."
Ally just nods her head and stares at the blanket she's sitting on.
I place my hand under her chin and make her look up at me. "We're going to get through this Alls. God gave us our second baby for a reason, and I guess He just decided that He needed them to come home a little sooner than originally planned."
Ally's face begins to quiver, and she opens her arms towards me. I pick up the bowl and pull her into my lap. She lays her head on my shoulder, and I brush the hair out of her eyes.
"I love you." I tell her. "How about we try to eat some macaroni?" I lift some up on the fork and hold it front of her while she takes a bite. "There you go angel."
"Thank you." She tells me.
I feel her hand cover mine as she takes the fork in hers. "You need to eat too." She gets a fork full of cheesy pasta and holds it up for me to eat. I accept, knowing that I am honestly hungry.
My phone buzzes on the pillow while I chew the macaroni. I pick it up and see that Trish has texted me.
"Hey Austin. Eric and I wanted to give you and Ally as much time as you need, so we're going to stay at the hotel that's right up the street. I've cancelled your next four shows, but if you need to talk about it, call me. And if you need anything, ANYTHING, please don't hesitate to call me. I'm so sorry that this happened. My heart is broken for you guys. I love you two and are praying for you."
"What was it?" Ally asks me.
"It was Trish. Her and Eric are going to stay at the hotel up the street."
"Oh, okay." She says, stirring the fork around in her bowl.
I'm about to put my phone back on the pillow when my lock screen catches my eye. It was our Christmas photo. My heart grows warm at Kinsley in her red velvet dress.
"Ally, look at our girl. I miss her so much." I say, holding the phone down so she can see.
"She never got the chance to be a big sister." Ally says as she breathes in a shaky breath.
"That doesn't mean she won't in the future, but let's just focus on healing right now and how blessed we are to have such a sweet little girl like her."
"But Austin, I never want to forget our second baby. They did exist!" She yells at me.
Ally falls against me and cries into my shoulder. I know it's only hurt that's making her lash out.
"I don't want to forget them either Alls, and when Kins is old enough to understand, we'll tell her about them."
"Promise?" She mumbles in my shoulder.
"I promise sweetie."

I promise.