Like A Virgin

Chapter Three - The Only Option is the Backdoor

It all started in a basement. One that smelled like jockstrap and weed. I was blindfolded, with my hands tied behind my back. Some dick guy was jostling me down rickety old stairs then threw me onto the cement floor. I cursed some choice words about his sexuality that i'm not too particular proud of, just to make a show that i'm not in pain by just head diving into the cement. Which was a total lie because I was in pain.  That hurt you douche-bag.  Anyways, I heard another thump and TJ landed, I knew it was TJ because he couldn't stop giggling. Ever since the moment we were kidnapped from our dorm room till we got chucked down here he couldn't stop giggling. I mean I'm not stupid, I know we weren't actually kidnapped. If I was actually kidnapped this would be a whole different story. I know the RA wouldnt open the door to our dorm if it wasn't for sure the fraternity guys from Alpha Zeta Eta. But I went along with the whole initiation step whatever thing. I'll get on with the story, okay, the blind folds were taken off and I was in a semi-circle with a bunch of other burly dudes who were being stared down by the Alpha Zeta Eta guys we partied with. In the center of the circle was a table with a shit ton of vodka and some candles. Then the main guy stepped forward. His real name is Mitchel  Rondowski, He goes by Mitch, but all his frat bros call him Pitch, because apparently he has a really high pitch scream. He's short but burly and shaved his head completely bald. I'm pretty much going to refer to him as Pitch from now on because it also rhymes with my favorite nickname for him. Bitch. Pitch Bitch Mitch, is what TJ and I refer to him as, but that's his full name. SO anyways Pitch steps forward and makes a big show about how we are chosen to go through the hazing process, a process that's two months long (I know, they like to seem like a big deal) and if we 'survive' we can become true brothers of the Alpha Zeta Eta. "This group in the basement tonight was our Top Priority group, tomorrows group is losers number two, if any of you prove to be little bitches, you'll be promoted to losers number two, if you cant even handle that, you'll be out of the hazing  and can never be a true ALPHA ZETA ETA BROTHER!!!" After Pitch's little speech the rest of the brothers gave a weird cheer, which one, I don't know why they were cheering for losing pledge members; I think they were just cheering because Pitch got loud and waved his arms in the air. And secondly, I don't even know why he said 'promoted to losers number two,' it definitely doesn't sound like a promotion to me; I think he was just trying to use big words. But you see what I have to deal with for the next two months? Unbelievable. I should of just walked out there. In fact for the majority of this story I'm going to question why I'm even trying so hard, but, well, you'll see. Anyways this isn't my problem, this is. 

A little 'question and answers' drinking game. A guys in a white sheet stepped forward and handed us each a shot glass, and for the record, I don't know why he was in a white sheet; maybe he was trying to scare us? Like hes a ghost or a KKK member, whatever he's stupid, and I'm just trying to stall before I tell you all the really stupid thing I did. Anyway, we all got our shot glasses, and held out our hand, while some guy in a bandanna ran down the line pouring vodka in the shot glass. "Listen up pitches." Pitch looked really proud for that one, real clever. "We have a list of requirements if you wanna be a true brothers, What we're going to do is, ask you a question if you've done the thing, take a shot, if you haven't don't. Got it babies?" "Uh, what?" the guy to my other side said, he looked pretty hazed I think they kidnapped him in the middle of smoking a joint. "Christ you dumb shits, listen! Take a shot if you've done the thing, don't if you haven't!" At this point even I was getting a little confused, and I think a few of my fellow pledge members were too. So this dorky guy in glasses stepped forward, I think hes and Education Major, he goes, "We're going to ask you a question, like 'have you ever robbed a convenient store?' if you have take a shot, if you haven't don't." Once everyone nodded in agreement, Pitch stepped forward again, pulled out a piece of paper, adjusted his junk, and started.  TJ and I gave each other a quick look like, 'we had to rob a convenient store in order to be a part of frat?' but then Pitch's first question, well, answered my question. "Have you ever robbed?" He looked around the room glaring at all of us, we all glanced at each other uneasily. Then this one guy took his shot, and the room just exploded, guys were hollering, these two big burly dudes picked him up a threw him out, all the other pledge members pretty much dropped there shot glasses. Once it died down, Pitch looked at us with power hungry eyes. "That's right, we do not steal from out brothers!" TJ and I gave each other looks like 'what the fuck?' as our shot glasses were being refilled. The rest of the questions were pretty lame, 'has your grade-point average ever dropped bellow a 2.5?' and 'do you regularly participate with volunteer organizations?' After a few of the questions I gotta admit I was getting a little buzzed, even though I'm 'a big guy' i'm a pretty sad light-weight when it comes to alcohol consumption. If you did (or didn't) take the shot for some of the questions they obviously wanted you to answer correct too, they didn't throw you out like they did to the first guy, I guess stealing is the highest offense in Alpha Zeta Eta. But they did have the education major guy give you a quizzical look and write something down on a clip board. He did it to me when I didn't take my shot for, "do you regularly communicate with your grandmother(s)?" Never mind the fact that both of them are dead. They don't give you much time for explaining. 

Which you'll see with the next question. The BIG question. The one that fucked me over and why I'm writing this whole thing. Shit. Lets just get it over with. . . The question was. . . 

"Have you ever slept with a virgin?"