"I would only go back to when we kissed for a year, as the interval": this phrase that echoes in my head, never ceases to torment me.
I had the stupid idea to enroll in one of those courses in school to increase the credits for the examination of the eighth grade. Three years have passed and this option will not regret it if you know it or not.
On the one hand it was a choice of shit, because I did spend more time in school; on the one hand a good choice because there, right in school, I met the person who is the cause of the loss of my fucking balance.
Yes, my balance. I had a very strong control of my emotions, my life .. but soon joined him, in my useless life but made strictly control, everything went to hell. All.
Damn that day.
It was on October 18 2012, the day he began all of these courses.
I enrolled in the course of grammar and we were twenty-five of us, including him. My class, this course, only five people ... we did not know anyone. At the moment.
I noticed a look, one of those looks that will take your breath away ... a friendly look, even a little sweet.
Throughout the lesson, I saw that look again, that look that I transmitted safely even if, for him, did not know anything, and neither the name nor the class who attended.
After the lesson, abandoning the classroom as if I abandoned my house ... I had this feeling of emptiness that I compressing the diaphragm when I came out of that class .. the damn class.
The feeling that I felt I did not like anything I had just ended a relationship with an eighteen year old pervert who wanted to get to bed a thirteen defenseless. Was an animator, I met him on vacation ... a chat after the other, we ended up kissing and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I accepted, like an idiot, because I said I loved him. I said, but I did not feel the true love for him.
The same feeling I felt when the, after twenty days, I had returned from vacation so I abandoned the animator, called him "the love of my life" but I had no idea what the word "love".
I and the animator we felt for another month or so, but then the distance and the work they sent him constantly around, put us in our relationship and left me with a stupid message on facebook, saying she was leaving me because we were too distant and there was difference of age; although, frankly I said, did not I never believed in this version of the facts.
His only desire was to take me to bed, unfortunately I found out too late.
We return to that strange feeling, that feeling of emptiness that I felt when he left the courtroom.
It was a feeling that I did not think to try, again.
It was the lightning that struck me from the blue, the storm was unexpected. I went out and I watched it. I was distracted by his gaze, distracted by the way he talked, distracted by him.
For me it was a way out after all I had been through with the animator.
I did not know anything about him ... Nothing.
My friends spoke to me, but you could see that I was distracted by him .. and as if my eyes would call him ...
Suddenly goes away and leaves me there .. alone .. even if I was not alone because there were all the others .. but I felt alone.
I felt abandoned.
"Tonight I sleep on and I will pass," I thought, and I headed for my house.
