She continued avoiding me and the feeling really kills me inside.
Hindi ko kaya, hindi ko kaya na malayo siya, na hindi niya ako pinapansin. Katabi ko Lang sya sa upuan yet I feel she's so far I can't reach her. Kung pwede nga lang dun na umupo sa tabi niya para masabi ko na close kami ginawa ko na. Dikit na dikit na nga mga upuan namin and I don't mind about the teacher Pero pilit niyang inilalayo ang sarili niya.
Hihilahin ko palapit ilalayo niya, hihilahin ko ulet palapit ilalayo nanaman niya. Halos mag makaawa na nga ako sa kanya para lang Hindi na niya ilayo yung upuan niya sa upuan ko.
Sabi nga ng mga classmate ko kung LQ daw ba kami..
Sana nga eh LQ na lang kami para at least may LOVE dun kahit Quarrel.
Hindi ko naman iniisip na dun lang sa pang aasar ko sa kanya ang dahilan kung bakit siya umiiwas pero kung ano man yun wala samin ang may alam.
It was a hell week for me. Daig ko pa ang frustrated business man sa problema ko, mababaw naman yong problems ko diba? Ayaw lang naman akong pansinin ng TAONG MAHAL KO DIBA ang babaw? P*T*NG *** lang hindi ko na kaya.
I was just staring at her face . nakaupo siya sa likod ni Dawn at tahimik na nakatanaw sa labas ng bintana, tulala.
Napapansin kung lagi siyang ganyan kapag may malalim siyang iniisip.
"Genzy ,pare sulat ata ito ni Rain oh, nalaglag kanina sa notebook niya." Danny my classmate handed me a piece of paper.
I unfolded the paper her penmanship dazing me.
God, ano pa bang di kayang gawin ng babaeng to?
I smile suddenly, yeah numbers she hated it and swimming, and biking, nah men, she has a lot of imperfections, but I still love her the same.
"I know, I feel it, how can you casually call me your misis?
Is it fun? You told me lots about how you like your best friend, you told me how you have a casual girlfriend out of Vienna. I saw how you gave Jessica flowers last year. Those stories has given me a lot of insecurities.
Why do you casually talk about how you like me with others?
I don't like this feelings. It seems your actions is shouting that you are just toying with me. Pinag titripan mo lang ako. I like you a lot pero I need to stop this, it's overwhelming, natatakot ako.
"
The note says.
And written at the bottom part is my name which is written backwards.
"IPSAGELYZNEG"
Okay lang bang kiligin? I feel so gay pero I can't help my smile to appear on my face. Kinikilig ako.
No, I ain't playing with you, I told other people so casually how I like you because I'm proud that it is you that I like. It's I you whom I fall with.
Pero kailangan kong linawin sa kanya na hindi ko sya pinag titripan.
My happy composure was broken
After I talked to Shiela, right after I have read Rain's letter. She maybe isn't that close to the three but she goes with the every dismissal since their houses are on the same way.
She have told me that Rain is planning to not talk to me like the way she do before.
I was angry, not to her, but to our situation, I was angry because I don't know what to do. Not talking to her would be painful yet I don't want to further ruin myself to her.
What to do?
what to do?
*******************************
"Miss" I uttered ng maupo siya sa tabi ko
I finally decided, it now or never.
"Oh?" She replied
Taray
"Pwede ba tayong mag usap?" I asked
"Nag uusap na tayo" ang pilosopo talaga ng mahal ko.
Kinakabahan na nga ako dito ,balak ko na kasing sabihin sa kanya yung nararamdaman ko towards her tapos eto siya nakuha pang mamilosopo, sigh
"Hindi,I mean mamaya?" I beamed back
"Bakit hindi pa ngayon?"
Sungit
Pwede naman kaso alam kong ayaw mong marinig nila ung pag uusapan naten. Pero hindi iyon ang sinabi ko.
"Maraming tao" sabi ko (parang ang creepy ko ata, di Naman?)
Natigilan siya at mukhang nag isip,
"Ayaw ko" she said
Ouch!
Para narin niyang sinabing ayaw niya saken.
Pa'no ba? Pa'no ko ba sasabihin sa kanya? Ayaw nya naman akong kausapin.
Why so hard headed baby.
Dahil Hindi ako mapakali, I get a clean paper and wrote all the things I want to say to her, clarifications and my own point of view on how I see things.
Dear Miss,
Unang una sa lahat gusto kung sabihin sayong hindi kita pinag titripan,kung yan ang iniisip mo. Sa tingin mo ba bibigyan kita ng regalo kung trip lang lahat ng ginagawa ko sayo? Gusto ko nga laging sumama sayo maglakad pauwi kahit taliwas tayo ng daan para masabi ko sayo ang nararamdaman ko pero lagi mo akong tinataboy palayo.
(Oo,I will always try to sneak on your back and walk with you pero u will be angry at me and I don't like it. And I don't want you to be angry at me too)
Gustong gusto ko tong sabihin sayo to oh...
Miss Alam mo bang gustong, gustong gusto kita. Ikaw ang naging insperasyon ko kung bakit hanggang ngayon nasa top pa rin ako.
(Yes you are my inspiration all my achievement is for you, because of you, I wanted to be a boy worthy of a girl who have proven herself a capability to others a lot of time, Para maging proud ka saken at para hindi nakakahiyang tumabi sa katulad mo.)
Masaya ako kapag kawentuhan at kaasaran kita.
(Your eyes shines so bright and your laughter fills all the voids inside of me. Nakokompleto mo ako.)
Nasasaktan ako kapag iniiwasan mo ako. Huwag mo sanang isipin na joke lang any nararamdaman ko sayo.
(All I do for you wasn't for a joke time purpose, I won't do this kind of effort that I do for you if I was just joking around.)
Nasabi narin sakin ni Sheila yong plano mong lumayo saken.Alam mo bang ang sakit noon , ang sakit malamang lalayo ka saken pero wag ka mag alala ako na ang unang iiwas para Hindi kana mahirapan pa ayaw ko kasing nakikitang nahihirapan ka, mas lalo akong nasasaktan,
(I know the struggles you've been through just to ignore me. I don't like it, kaya kahit ayaw kung gawin, I'll try my best, kahit masakit)
basta ingatan mo any sarili mo ah.
(Because I might be close enough to take care of you)
Genzy Legaspi
Pagkatapos ko magsulat ibinigay ko na ito kay shine sinabi ko na siya na ang bahalang mag about kay Rain.
Pero makulit silang dalawa, nauna pa nilang basahin yung sulat ko kesa Kay Rain.
After that day I go home not saying good bye to her, not reminding her to take care of herself and be safe on her way home like I always do. Like I like to do to her everyday before we part our ways.
***********
Monday morning pagkaupong pagkaupo ko sa upuan ko ,nakita ko so Rain na busy sa pagbabasa, mahilig talaga siyang magbasa, kung ako yun baka naitapon ko na yong libro.
Tumahimik na lang ako at umub-ob.
The whole weekend up until now I was still wondering. Naibigay na kaya ni Shine young sulat?
Sana...
And if they did, what's her reaction?
(ITUTULOY)
VOTE AND COMMENT THANKS
BINABASA MO ANG
A letter to my Seatmate
Conto"And they says letters are out dated" But it was the most romantic as ever. ******************** This is a real life story so this is not intense as what you expect Pero sana magustuhan nyo pa din ;) the characters name was being replace by differen...
