He'll have to break all the rules to keep her, but first she has to break just one and let him in...
It's taken four years, but Anna Fray has finally put the past behind her. Mostly. She fills her days working in a bar and her nights watching bad ro...
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Four weeks ago, I almost died.
And in that moment, I said goodbye to the world as I knew it, and I watched as my rules and barriers withered away. Whoever I was before was snuffed out. The angry, scared version of myself no longer existed.
Metaphorically speaking.
In the literal sense, four weeks can't fix everything. My heart still has questions, and my blood still runs cold when I let my thoughts wander too far, but who I am, isn't the same. There might be some residue left behind, an imprint of the closed off girl I once was, but if she's there, she's buried deep below the surface. Hidden under layers of kohl eyeliner and belief. Belief in my friends, in Atticus, and in the life I've built.
Finally, I'd realised that all was not lost.
And now, as I'd said those three little words, and I bared my soul in front of the person I trusted the most, I realised I had this rare opportunity to rebuild. My life, my ambitions, my self. It was like reincarnation but without the death. I'd finally learnt to look beyond my past, and I discovered a new world beyond my barricades. One where I was loved. Irrevocably and unconditionally. A simple fact, but one that had changed everything.
I knew Atticus and I would face challenges. I wasn't naïve enough to think we could be this way forever. I couldn't become like him, and he wasn't human, but we could be happy. We were like a perfect glass of chilled white wine in the burning depths of hell. How I chose to view it was just a matter of perspective. My mindset. I could focus on the world around us and the questions it brought, the 'what ifs' and the 'what nows'. Or I could let them all go and just be with Atticus.
I knew, here and now - the sun sinking into the sea, and his hand in mine - that despite all the bottles of wine I've gulped my way through, my life with him would be the one I'd savour, sip by sip.
For however long forever lasted.
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A note from the Author
I want to start by saying thank you.
Thank you for giving this story a chance.
Thank you for making it this far.
And thank you for sticking with it for six years!
When I started this story, I had no idea where it would go, how much joy (and frustration) t would bring me, and how much my life would change around it.
From the moment I wrote the first page, to finally posting this, I have changed careers, moved house, renovated said house, gotten married and had a beautiful little girl. And through it all, every trial and doubt, this story has been in the background, like an anchor to the person I was when it started. Some days that anchor has felt heavy, laden with doubts, but now I embrace it. It has helped to keep me true to myself and what I love.
I hope you all have something that makes you feel that way too.
