Nightmares

Nightmare

"MERLIN!" Freya's eyes fill with fear as she screams his name.
"FREYA!!!!! FREYA, FREYA NOOOO!" Merlin desperately grasps at her as she is dragged out of his arms into the lake.
~~~~~
Freya's gentle breath tickles his cheek. A single droplet splashes on her smooth face.
Merlin leans down and presses his forehead to hers. Pain tears through his entire being. He just wants to scream but he won't waste his last precious seconds with his only love.
Freya whispers to him, "Merlin." 
Merlin swallows heavily and brushes his lips over hers," shhhh don't speak. I'm so sorry Freya, I've failed you."
"No Merlin, you haven't failed me. You've saved me Merlin. You loved me. That is how you saved me, you made me feel loved." Freya's eyes shine with love.
Her breath draws ragged and Merlin's  heart stutters as his worst nightmare comes true, "no. No Freya don't leave me."
Freya's frail body stills and her breath ceases.
Merlin chokes, his own breath no longer returning to him. "Freya."

Merlin sits up gasping, tears running down his face. Overwhelming pain consumes him. Merlin's breath stays ragged.
Merlin launches off his bedroll and bolts through the forest to the only place he feels safe. Raw agony shreds at his insides.
Merlin bursts through the trees to a clearing and he falls to his knees at the very lake he lost her.
Merlin breaks down, no longer able to hold in the anguish he has bore so long. It has been a year since her death, he gets nightmares every night.
A smooth hand tilts up his chin and he looks into familiar chocolate eyes. A soft voice soothes him, "oh Merlin."
~~~~~
Arthur woke to a whimper. He jumps to his feet with his sword drawn. Only to find no one. He hears it again and looks over to find Merlin.
Arthur rushes to his side, worry etched into his face. Merlin withers, cries escaping from his throat.
Arthur fills with panic, he grasps Merlin's shoulders and shakes.
Merlin does not wake.
Arthur shakes him harder.
Merlin whimpers and mutters, "No Freya don't leave me."
The agony in that phrase tears at Arthur's heart. Arthur didn't know Merlin had a girl, why did she leave him? Merlin is in so much pain from it. He's even having a nightmare about it. Who was she to him?
No matter what Arthur does, Merlin does not wake.
Tears fall from under Merlin's closed eyelids.
Arthur crawls back to his bedroll and waits for his brother to wake. How long had this been going on? Why hasn't he told him? Arthur scolds himself for making Merlin go on this cursed hunting trip, a blind man could tell the servant hadn't been getting much sleep if any.
After waiting for what seems forever Merlin whispers, "Freya," and jolts awake. Arthur in turn jumps, startled. Arthur moves to help Merlin but the boy takes off running before he reaches him. Arthur will never forget the look on his face, as if he had just watched a love one tortured.
Arthur races after him, he knew Merlin was not in his right mind. Who knows what kind of trouble he could get in.

Arthur stops at the edge of the trees and watches as his best friend falls to his knees, to his lowest. He is about to step forward when the water in the lake starts to shimmer. Merlin buries his face into his hands.
The water parts and a beautiful girl in a tattered red dress steps from the lake. Her silky brown hair falling in waves around her shoulders. Her seemingly delicate body move gracefully towards Merlin.
Reaching him, she gets down beside him and tilts up his head with one hand and runs her fingers through his hair with the other. Arthur hears her voice, filled with worry and sorrow, whisper, "oh Merlin."
Merlin looks up into her deep kind brown eyes and says longingly, "Freya."
Merlin grasps her face and laughs. He stands, grabbing her waist he spins her around. "Freya."
He sets her down and gives her a tender kiss. She pulls away and once again runs her fingers through his hair, "Merlin what are you doing? I'm dead Merlin, you have to let me go. The lake felt your pain and let me have a few moments with you."
Arthur jolts, she died. That's why she left him, but how is she here? Merlin grasps her face with a look of pure joy tinted with sadness, "I could never let you go Freya, I love you." Merlin tilts his head, "I am very grateful but why does the lake care if I feel pain? It never has before." Arthur was wondering that himself.
Freya smiles, "I begged to do this, but never doubt yourself Merlin." She lightly thumps his chest, "you are the protector of the once and future king. You are the most powerful person to have walked the earth. But most of all you are the kindest most loyal person I know, and I love you. Our time is almost over Merlin."
Merlin's face fills with desperation, "no! Don't leave me, not again please don't leave me. I love you," Merlin buries his nose in her hair and takes deep breaths. "No one else understands Freya. I get so lonely. I'm the most powerful person I know and I have to live like a shadow, pretend to be a fool. Arthur and my friends think I'm an idiot capable of nothing. Please don't leave me Freya I'm so tired, I can't take it again." Arthur's heart drops at his best friends words. He never thought of it like that but the guilt weights heavily now.
Freya strokes his hair, "speak to Arthur my dear, and you will not be lonely. Tell him Merlin." Her voice turns to a whisper, "I love you." She brushes her lips across Merlin's and walks into the lake and out of sight. Merlin's knees buckle.
Arthur steps forward carefully and places his hand on Merlin's shoulder, "Merlin you should have told me." Merlin jolts and looks up at Arthur with wide eyes. Arthur continues before Merlin can, "I understand there is much more you need to tell me, like this once and future king and powerful business, but let's take this a bit at a time. Merlin you should have come to me, I can help you. There is no reason for you to be alone, you're my brother. When did she die?" Arthur sinks to his knees next to his servant.
Merlin whispers, "last year."
Arthur scowls and whacks the back of Merlin's head, "why didn't you tell us you idiot?"
Merlin cracks a smile, "prat."
Underneath the waves Freya looks up through the sparkling water and smiles, yes this will do. Her Merlin will no longer be alone and perhaps in time he will heal completely.